Online Therapy: An Unexpected Space of Freedom

Taking Risks

The dramatic story of the Saudi teenager Rahaf al-Qunun¹, who fled her family and country in order to request asylum elsewhere, resonated with many people in different ways. The oppressive background in which women like her evolve is generally far from our eyes, but I have, through my online therapy work, experienced several very touching stories from women in the Middle East.

Engaging in therapy is something that even Westerners do not enter into lightly. It requires taking a risk in opening themselves to a stranger to exercise the power of vulnerability. For women from countries such as Saudi Arabia, this entails a completely different level of personal risk and exposure. The fear of being misunderstood, judged, medicated, or reported to their family and consequently punished harshly, makes it nearly impossible for them to reach out for face-to-face psychotherapy.

As I grew up in Soviet and then post-Soviet Russia, I have firsthand experience of feeling trapped in a place where state-imposed values and rules did not align with my own. The exercise of one’s intellectual freedom turns into a road to salvation when other freedoms are unattainable.

For women in hardline Middle-Eastern countries, online therapy offers a safe space in which to exercise intellectual and spiritual freedom—they can explore their religious doubts, talk openly about their sexuality, voice their frustrations and anger, and eventually find meaning in their experience.

In an interview in The Guardian, Rahaf al-Qunun points out that in her country, no matter their age and life experience, women are treated like children. In a society governed and controlled by men, they are stripped of all power and infantilized.

These women continually strike me with their courage and resilience. One such brave woman was Laila (an amalgam of Middle Eastern women with whom I have worked in online therapy).

Laila’s Story

Laila was 36 and unmarried. She had a stable and reasonably well-paying job at a bank. When she received a promotion, she was allowed to move out of the family home to a nearby town in order to take the position. She was allowed to do this because her youngest brother lived in the same town and worked at the same bank. He was also unmarried and they lived in the same block of flats. He drove her to work every morning, as she was not allowed to drive herself.

Her brother was much younger but had more rights. Laila “needed” him for assistance with the most routine tasks—for example driving her to work or for travelling out of the country for a professional conference. This is how things work: women are made to need men.

Laila was different. At a deeper level, she did not believe or feel that she needed men. She did enjoy the company of some of her male colleagues and rare friends, but she did not desire them. Leila realized this about herself as a teenager, when back at school she felt compelled to kiss the beautiful face of her female best friend.

One of the duties Laila was not able to escape was mandatory attendance at family gatherings. She would sit there, her face uncovered, surrounded by women talking about their children and their little sons running around—already enjoying their privileged status in front of their sisters—and painfully feeling how little she belonged there.

All this fuss around men felt ludicrous to her. It was an ironic situation after all—she had to uncover her face with women to whom she felt attracted and was expected to be separated from men who represented no risk to her emotional balance.

Laila knew that she would never be able to live the life that she dreamt of. She loved her brothers, despite often feeling angry with them. She also loved her father, even if he would not listen to her or take her achievements seriously. She knew that, for her family, she was “damaged goods” and she would remain so, as she would never marry and give them children.

Laila eagerly waited to get old enough to stop receiving proposals from men that she did not know, who, as she grew older, wanted her as a second or third wife. In the meantime, she had occasional moments of joy with her few female friends and secretly experienced excitement and lightness in the body-less company of her virtual friends from the online community of women just like her.

Autocratic states use mental health stigma to control their citizens.Laila was very scared of being accused of being mentally ill. This is exactly what happened to Rahaf al-Qunun who, in the statement released by her family after her escape, was labelled “mentally unstable.”

An Online Refuge

As a therapist who works online with clients, my personal background helps me to understand and relate to what these women experience. Mental illness was stigmatized in the USSR, easily exploited by the authorities to punish and isolate any individual not complying with the strict rules of collective functioning. Therapy was almost nonexistent and was considered a medical treatment for alienated sick people. Online therapy was not an option as it is now, offering an opportunity to reach out to someone from a different culture, which can be useful when someone is trapped in an unfriendly world.

The effects of living in an autocratic country on individuals’ mental health are many. My female clients from hard-line Middle Eastern countries suffer from depression, anxiety, insomnia, dissociation, and difficulty trusting others.

Their individual boundaries are constantly transgressed and violated. The psychological effects of being raised in such an environment are like those experienced by a child growing up in a narcissistic family: the needs of the parents’ system (the society) take precedence over the needs of the child (the individual).

The only way to avoid being mistreated by a narcissist is to limit their power over you or to stay as far away as possible. Oppressed women like Rahaf al-Qunun have every right to rebel and protest as do children of narcissistic parents—they entirely depend on their caretakers and cannot freely leave their country or their family.

Individuals raised in cultures where they must abide by a very strict set of rules that do not take into account their needs, learn how to hide, to keep secrets, to lie. This is a natural way of adjusting to a system that does not accept parts of you; it becomes a question of survival. Such secrecy leads to an impression of living a double life. The cost of such fragmentation is often a lack of intimacy with parents and disconnection from those who are not aware of the “other” life that quietly happens inside or in the online space.

In a way, as their therapist, I must play a part in this secret parallel world, as my clients also hide from their families the fact that they are in treatment. Therapy, especially with a Western therapist, is seen as a transgression. My clients must come up with a plausible pretext for isolating themselves with their computer in a private room within the family home without being disturbed. I am often presented as a colleague, or an online English teacher. Here, the fact that their older family members do not speak fluent English comes in handy. The second language creates the much-needed safe and private space, in which they finally can explore their inner worlds, and the conflicts with the outer world in which they live.

Behind the Veil

I do not share a mother tongue with many of my clients so we must speak in English. Such use of the third, neutral language plays an important role in how the therapy evolves. It facilitates sharing thoughts and dreams that are defined as unacceptable in the clients’ original culture. Speaking English also provides us with an opportunity to play on even ground—as fluent as we are in our second tongue, we are still both foreigners, negotiating our accents, sometimes looking together for the right word. This experiment in equality has an additional reparative value, as being fully recognized as equal is not an easily obtained right in these women’s world.

As a Western woman with a limited knowledge and experience of Middle Eastern cultures, I let my clients guide me through their personal stories shaped by the culture, family, and place into which they were born. With them, I become an avid learner as we move towards a shared goal—a better understanding of who they are and who they want to be within the limits of their world. As we advance, pushing these limits becomes an existential necessity. For any transcultural therapist, this is a rather familiar role, but online therapy expands this in an extraordinary manner.

I have also had the opportunity to work with some Saudi women living outside of their country in Europe or elsewhere. Those with liberal, well-to-do and open-minded parents can study abroad. The sudden freedom comes with another set of psychological challenges—these young women must adapt to the transition and find a place in this new world, negotiating an acceptable balance between their original cultural values and the norms and expectations of the new place and culture.

During this stressful time, therapy offers them a space for dealing with conflicts and dilemmas that arise along the way—to wear or not to wear a headscarf; how to explain to their foreign peers the values and rules they choose to abide by; how to deal with anxious parents’ visits and a stressful life in an unfamiliar environment. Interestingly, they still retreat back to the familiar online space—which feels safer—to find friends or develop romantic relationships.

“Why does it matter that we, freer men and veil-less women, understand the struggle of women in these regions of the world” where many types of freedom are restricted? Will our understanding of their condition and our empathy change anything for them? My intuitive answer is ‘yes’; otherwise I could not do my work as a therapist. But how so?

Humans are social creatures, and the way we are looked at by others very often matters. We all have secret stories about how bad or how exposed we felt when people around us looked at us, judging our looks, words, or differences. In these circumstances, we feel shame. People with a handicap, sexuality difference or cultural/ethnic difference, all those who differ in some ways from the majority know far too well the emotional toll of such unwanted exposure.

How can a woman wearing the full veil feel when walking in the street in a tourist area of a big Western city? She is entirely covered in a black veil, her face hidden. On both sides of the veil we feel uncomfortable. The veil is a barrier, and, when we do not see the face behind it, we struggle to empathize with the individual. Behind the veil, there is sometimes deep discomfort and a feeling of shame. They may feel trapped, and our misunderstanding of their condition and our judging them for choices they do not have, may add to their suffering.

To connect with others and to be understood, without their body being seen, can be a challenge for these women. It is another reason why the online communities of Saudi women are thriving. Probably this is also what makes online therapy a hopeful space in which they can develop a connection with a Western therapist who represents this “other.”

As with any therapist, I am here for those who have psychological difficulties and struggle with some form of conflict. Surely, many women living in the strict Middle Eastern countries are happy enough with their circumstances, and not all of them would relate to my clients’ stories. But even if women I meet in my practice are a minority, it is important for them to be seen and acknowledged in their struggle, and to be offered a safe space like online therapy in which they can feel recognized and strive toward a better life.

Resources
1 Rahaf al-Qunun: “I hope My Story Encourages Other Women to be Brave and Free

From Cultural Competence to Cultural Humility & Equity

What if traditional notions of “cultural differences” in clients have been misleading? The over-representation of children of color in the welfare system is more about policies and institutions that fuel disenfranchisement, and less about cultural attributes.

Despite being a cherished ideal in psychotherapy for decades, the term “cultural competence” has become increasingly flawed. It has poorly accounted for the power dynamics present not only in psychotherapy, but also in broader institutional and healthcare settings. It has also overlooked social injustice and contextual and structural influences essential to someone’s “culture.”

“Cultural competence” was coined by anthropologist James Green in 1982, and then disseminated to the fields of social work, psychology, psychotherapy and counseling. It is based on classifying culture by race and ethnicity. It has emphasized prior assumptions of cultural difference among ethnic groups. These classifications easily stereotype people, dismiss key intragroup differences and areas where they don’t apply, and consider culture as a monolith. This overlooks the reality that there are often more within-group than between-group differences among many categorized in certain groups. For example, the classification of “Asian” can overlook differences between Cambodian, Korean, and Japanese.

Becoming “competent” in someone else’s culture is not only insufficient, but largely untenable, especially if we have never been immersed in it. “Culture” is too nuanced for psychotherapists to “master.” Essentializing culture has become a disparaging form “otherizing,” and risks colluding with the power of the dominant group. The “other” focus also implies that default is White, and “others” as non-white, non-cisgender, non-English-speaking, non-Christian, non-heterosexual, etc.
Notions of competence are most flawed because they overlook the dominant status of the White group, the status quo of power over marginalized groups, and depend on overly formulaic prescriptions about how to do therapy with “them.”

“Cultural humility” is a promising replacement. It acknowledges the fluidity of culture and pushes individuals, communities, and institutions to scrutinize social inequities. Humility acknowledges differences in power and challenges injustice and related barriers at the broader levels outside of the client’s immediate social web. The shift from competence to humility is from an expert stance of understanding “others,” to emphasizing accountability in addressing institutional barriers that impact marginalized clients. For instance, the oil fracking in Colorado in neighborhoods with low-income Latinx communities is associated with negative health outcomes. Low-income communities also tend to be more dangerous, less sanitary, and less resourced. This is not a reflection of cultural characteristics.

“Cultural equity,” like humility, examines institutions and systems of subordination across and within cultures. Equity specifically examines the relations between power, privilege, oppression, family, and communal life. While competence aims merely to learn a group’s history, values, and attributes; humility and equity strive to reduce oppression and injustice. While competence stresses sheer self-awareness, encouraging practitioners to be more comfortable with differences, humility and equity add thorough assessment to the inherent power disparities in therapist-client relationships. Competence has also focused primarily on race or ethnicity, deemphasizing other germane disparities, such as SES, disability, sexual orientation, and gender identity.

Ana, age 18, an excelling student, has a mother from Guanajuato, Mexico, and stepfather from San Diego who is currently in jail for drug-related charges. Her mother brought her here at 9-years-old to escape Ana’s violent father, a policeman who muscled his power to block her and Ana from protection. Ana and her mother have no nearby relatives. She applied for DACA status in 2013. She came to therapy feeling depressed, barely able to get out of bed or attend school for 2 weeks. Despite acceptance into UCSD, her dream university, she was unable to access financial aid due to her legal status.

We explored her situation as being privileged growing up speaking English with a native-born step-father yet subjugated as an undocumented immigrant with temporary DACA protection. We attended to her persistent fear about her status. I humbly acknowledged that it’s impossible for me to have a complete understanding of how culture and systems of injustice impact her although I have lived in Mexico and had a Mexican partner. I recognized how my privilege as a graduate-level educated and White male US citizen may blind me from certain crucial aspects of her experience. We collaboratively strived to decrease the inherent power differential between us by encouraging her feedback throughout therapy.

In response to mentioning that the term “Latinx” is gaining popularity because it emphasizes inclusion, she self-identified as Chicana to convey pride in her dual heritage. We then discussed the unjust disparity in financial access despite her academic merit. From researching in-session, we learned an empowering loophole: a co-signer may help her access aid, something her high school’s career center did not know, and reached out to nearby clergy who presented her predicament to the community to secure a co-signer.

***

Cultural competence is not merely a set of skills and techniques acquired through hard work. While competence emphasizes knowledge acquisition, humility and equity stress responsibility at individual and institutional levels. While competence would imply that problems come from lack of knowledge or awareness, humility and equity recognize power differentials, and call for action and changes in attitudes about diverse clients and the broader forces that subjugate them. Clients from disenfranchised communities have less access to quality services, a lack of linguistically and culturally appropriate services, financial barriers, scarce time, and limited knowledge of resources available to them.

If you want to lead and effect change for clients, a technical and knowledge-based competence focus will not suffice. Training in humility building and equity appreciation are the keys to building improved relationships between therapists and clients. We begin to make a key difference when we attend to the equitable distribution of resources and confront unjust politics, practices, and policies, and examine how they influence one’s “culture.”

Resources

Almeida, R., Hernandez-Wolfe, P., & Tubbs, C. (2011). Cultural equity: Bridging the complexity of social identities with therapeutic practices. International Journal of Narrative Therapy & Community Work, (3), 43.

Fisher-Borne, M., Cain, J. M., & Martin, S. L. (2015). From mastery to accountability: Cultural humility as an alternative to cultural competence. Social Work Education, 34(2), 165-181.

Bilingualism as a Necessary Clinical Competence

The majority of people in the world speak more than one language, but in the United States people have primarily been monolingual. This may not be sustainable. Technology, mobile dominance, the internet, economic growth, and globalization have reconstructed our social sphere, exponentially amplifying social interaction between continental and national borders. In unprecedented ways, our world has transformed into a diverse multicultural and multinational global hub that is increasingly interconnected. An essential aspect of this global diversity includes an estimated 7,105 living languages¹. Of the more than 7 billion people on our planet, the largest portion, approximately 1.2 billion people, are first-language Chinese speakers, followed by Spanish, English, and Hindi. Countless interactions between speakers of these and many other languages happen daily, and predictably, this has steadily increased demand for bilingual psychotherapists.

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Despite the anti-immigration rhetoric prevalent in Washington, many non-English speakers continue to enter the country. In our age of technological boom and globalization, it is increasingly vital for psychotherapists to not only learn a second language but also to consider the unique and subtle implications of language differences and how an individual’s linguistic roots transect with their geographic location.

Psychotherapy, as taught in graduate programs nationwide, has recognized the need for therapists to address spirituality, religion, race, gender, ethnicity, class, gender, and sexual orientation. However, our field has only recently begun to widen its lens to address language in more depth. Language training will increasingly be not only relevant but also central in psychotherapy training curriculums as globalization, diversity, and intersections across national borders accelerate.

Psychotherapists are frequently in contact with clients whose first language is not English. The profound need for therapists to be able to communicate with non-English speaking clients already exists and is poised to expand exponentially. The most prominent language spoken in the United States after English is Spanish. Although a few graduate programs have integrated Spanish language training into their curriculum, not many recognize that this is a growing need². Currently, language training is considered supplemental, but now more than ever it must become more fundamental to training to keep up with where the world is heading.

One specific population I am passionate about working with is Spanish-speaking immigrants. They are the largest and most rapidly growing ethnic group in the United States. Not only do they underutilize mental health services, but they also tend to have high rates of mental health problems like trauma, domestic violence, depression, substance abuse, and family separations due to immigration restrictions. Research also suggests they tend to seek psychotherapy less frequently and tend not to view talk-therapy as a viable way of meeting their mental health needs, despite its demonstrated effectiveness across multiple studies, including meta-analyses.

Between 2011 to 2013, I completed my Master’s in International Counseling Psychology at the Mexico Campus of Alliant International University. I learned Spanish as I was completing my practicum in Mexico City, practicing solely with Spanish-speaking clients as well as speaking Spanish during class and supervision. We often discussed the nuances of the language differences and how they affected our work with clients, for better or worse. Toward the end of the degree, I completed a research project that covered this topic in greater depth³.

To briefly summarize, we found that in many instances participant clients described language differences as a non-issue, which should be encouraging to you, reading this, if you are considering strengthening your bilingual skills; you do not need to master a second language to make a difference.

Clients who are dominant in any other language than English are often honored by sincere and diligent attempts on the part of the clinician to learn their language. And, according to clients’ self-report (which may have been contaminated by wanting to please us, referred to broadly as research demand characteristics), language differences had unexpected clinical benefits, such as equalizing inherent power dynamics in therapy and strengthening rapport and collaboration as therapists and clients work to understand each other despite significant language differences. Predictably, in some ways, the language limitations of the therapists were also challenging and were related to clinical difficulties that we needed to creatively address with clients, such as not feeling understood by their therapists who were learning Spanish and psychotherapy simultaneously. Fast forward to today, my training has paid off; I work part-time at a non-profit called Palomar Family Counseling Service located in Escondido, California, with Spanish-speaking families.

Aside from broadening your opportunities as a psychotherapist and our field keeping up with our changing times, learning Spanish is a profound act of social justice: you can be the one decreasing the dire paucity of effective bilingual services as we take on the increasingly diverse mental health needs and challenges of clients whose languages and world views are different from ours.  

(1)  Paul, Simons & Fennig, 2013, Ethnologue: Languages of the world. Dallas, TX: SIL International.

(2) Platt, 2012, A Mexico City based immersion education program: Training mental health workers for practice with Latino communities. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy

(3) Linder, Platt, & Young, 2018¿Me explico?: Mexican client perspectives on therapy with Spanish as second language (SSL) Clinicians. Sage Research Methods.

Language as Boundary

A Child of Tongues

In the post-Soviet world, boundaries were scarce. Growing up in the Russia of the 1990s, I had a heightened awareness of crumbling walls. Though that time felt mainly liberating, it was also scary; many of us felt unsafe in this new suddenly-turned-turbulent, wall-less world.

Unsurprisingly, in the same 1990s, learning foreign languages became the most obvious and appealing choice for many Russian youngsters, myself included. It was our way of pushing the barriers. “When I proudly announced to my father that I would pursue studying linguistics, he bursted out in anger” saying that languages were futile and would not give me any tangible skills. Growing up in the Soviet Union, my father had never had an opportunity to master a foreign language. This skill was not on the state’s agenda for its citizens, probably another means of keeping the iron curtain in place. In the most classical Ivan Turgenev way, what was the most liberating and empowering choice for me reminded my father of his own inability to speak any tongue other than his own, naturally triggering a feeling of shame.

Jhumpa Lahiri, an American writer of Bengali origin, reflects on her relationship with Italian, a language that she learned later in life and adopted for her writing. Her love affair with Italian resonates with my own feelings about speaking other languages and abounds in separations—shut doors, locked gates, permeable skin: “A new language, Italian, covers me like a kind of bark. I remain inside: renewed, trapped, relieved, uncomfortable.” This sensitivity to separateness is familiar to many of my multilingual clients who evolve on cultural boundaries and countries’ frontiers.

Language as Boundary

I have ended up practicing psychotherapy in three languages that were not originally mine; and through dialogues with my displaced clients, I have realized that learning a foreign tongue not only opens new doors but, in some cases, also becomes a way of installing a boundary where there was none.

In environments where we must put up with an intrusive parent who does not respect our boundaries, or with a totalitarian state that scrambles our personal space, we survive in different ways. Some make inner safe spaces of creativity, like my artist father; others actively rebel and flee to a different land, like many of my emigrant clients and myself. When leaving is the only way to develop better boundaries with the original context and with others, mastering a new language becomes a crucial step towards this goal.

“Much of my therapy work with displaced individuals happens through video conferencing”, thus we keep our regular sessions even when they return to visit their parents for holidays. As they connect “from home,” they sometimes choose to use their second language (when we share one), in order to protect their privacy from their family members. These sessions open a window to their original context—a concrete opportunity for me to get a sense of the place which they come from.

This way, I get to enter vibrant Indian houses filled with the whir of fans; small Russian kitchens where I can nearly smell the sour cabbage soup of my childhood; Victorian manors straight out of British novels; and other colorful contexts in which my clients were brought up. In such situations, the language that they have acquired later in life acts as a shield protecting them from the intrusiveness of their home; something that was not possible for them during their childhood.

The Case of Andrey

In the case of Andrey, the first and only session we had in English offered a fascinating opportunity to reflect on his past. Andrey was a Russian violin player who had made a life in the United States. He came to therapy because of his feelings of shame about his failure to find stable orchestra work and about his deteriorating marriage.

We started off rather smoothly, as Andrey was able to identify the main reason for his struggles—his incapacity to be emotionally present with others. He was fearing intimacy and had found refuge in music, which now seemed to isolate him from his wife and friends. He would easily blame himself for his shortcomings, never questioning the adequacy or fairness of others, nor the environment itself. Was he unable to secure a stable orchestra appointment because of a lack of talent, or was it due to the competitiveness of the field and bad luck? Despite his multiple prizes and other achievements, it felt clear to Andrey that he was just not good enough.

This tendency to take the blame too quickly and entirely made it difficult to access his real feelings. This was another boundary—a cover up—a way of hiding from the more complex reality in which others failed to meet his needs. I was feeling frustrated with having to constantly point out this unbalance when Andrey decided to go back home for Christmas.

His parents were living in a small town in the very North of Russia. Snow covered much of the industrial squalor for six months in a row, offering an immaculate landscape to those who would dare to go outside; many preferred to contemplate this view from behind a frosted window. Andrey had often felt guilty about not being back home more often, but the trip was complicated and costly.

Just after Christmas, he connected from his parents’ flat, the very one where he had grown up. In the background, I could spot the familiar, trapped-in-the-past decorum of a Russian kitchen. To my surprise, even before I could greet him, Andrey kicked off in English. “My parents are just behind the wall,” he said in a whisper; “so for them, you are an American colleague, and we are talking about a forthcoming concert.” It felt odd to be suddenly transformed into an American musician.

The stigma associated with mental health issues and therapy was still omnipresent in this remote corner of Russia. In order to be able to talk openly, Andrey had to use our shared second language. His English was fluent, but during the first minutes, I had to make an effort to switch off an uncanny voice in my head that offered synchronous translation of his words back to Russian, our usual therapy language.

In Search of Sanctuary

During the session, Andrey recognized that having privacy had always been a struggle when he was a child: his mother always insisted that the doors of their small flat should stay wide open. “Why are you closing the door?” her high-pitched voice would resonate in the small flat every time Andrey would try to isolate himself in his small bedroom.

Maybe she wanted to make sure that her teenage son practiced his violin, or she was just too scared to be alone in front of her own inner realities. Back then, unable to find any space unpolluted by his mother’s intrusive presence, Andrey found refuge in music. She was not a musician, and through interpreting the most rebellious and passionate Romantic pieces, he was able to express his anger, his pain, and his isolation.

With time, this protective boundary turned into a fortified wall, efficiently separating him from others. His wife was bitterly complaining about the lack of intimacy that was haunting their marriage. He found it increasingly strenuous to get out of this space, or to let her in. Their marriage was on the brink of failure.

As Andrey was talking in English from his parents’ kitchen, we managed to recognize his feeling of shame, nurtured by the pressure to succeed that he had always felt. In his native town, the only hope for a brighter future was to work hard and be chosen for the Moscow Conservatorium. His father was a violin teacher in the local music school for children. He was drinking most of the evenings, as a way of escaping his own disappointments. Andrey had always known that he had to become a solo player to realize the dream his parents had instilled in him. But bursting out to the bigger classical music world had come with a price—the competition was such that Andrey had quickly realized that the soloist career was not for him.

During that ‘kitchen session’, Andrey told me how, the day before, he had picked up his grandfather’s old violin inherited by his father. He had not played the family instrument in years. Its sound, smell, and smooth touch brought up so many memories—the first time his father had let him play that violin was after he had successfully passed his music school exam, opening the direct path to Moscow…and freedom. What a pride he felt back then, what a commitment to music! All this had faded away, he had now lost these higher aspirations, after years of teaching American kids in a foreign language that he would never master as he mastered playing violin.

His parents had grown older but had not changed. His father was drinking less, as his health had deteriorated. But he had kept following his son’s artistic career with anguish. His mother was suspicious of his “frivolous” wife (she was French and a dancer). She was also pressuring him about having a grandchild. Andrey strongly suspected that she was eavesdropping from the corridor every time he was speaking to his local friends over the phone.

Andrey was not able to open up to either of them, out of fear of being judged or causing distress. His mother had a habit of crying, slamming doors (only to insist that they remain open later), and threatening him with heart failure. They were totally unaware of his anguish about his unemployment and his collapsing marriage.

“Ironically, Andrey had never been able to share all this in Russian”. The perceived neutrality of the English language may have provided the necessary distance for him to get in touch with the feelings he had previously been avoiding as unacceptable or threatening. What had allowed this shift to happen? Was it the juxtaposition of his original environment (filled with familiar significant objects like the old violin) with the neutrality of his second language that had built a bridge between his younger and adult selves?

In retrospect, Andrey recognized that being able to connect with me from his parents’ place had allowed his adult part (usually pertaining to his “life abroad”) to penetrate his original home. He felt supported and valued by me, as he had never been able to feel at home with his parents.

Maybe the fact that I could understand both facets of his life helped this integration—I was familiar with the peculiar culture of the intimate Russian kitchen conversations. I was also familiar with the intricate dynamics of the broader professional music world. Making links and recognizing echoes between these two realities that constituted his fragmented world, helped Andrey sort through his struggle. After all, he did not really have to endure the continuous pressure of his professional world. This was no promise of a sustainable subsistence. Once he recognized the shortcomings of his original environment, Andrey was finally able to think more creatively about his career and find other less mainstream ways of developing his potential.

Soon after that session, Andrey returned to the United States, and we have never spoken again in English. At the opposite side of the border, our native Russian is a perfect shield to protect our therapy space when his French wife is around. The session in English has remained our shared anchor, a time when we both started to see and understand him better.
 

Therapy with Latinx DACA Clients and Their Families: A Therapist’s Primer

A DACA Primer

Many therapists are unfamiliar with the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program and have little experience serving clients and families with DACA status. I lived in Mexico City for almost 3 years, earned my masters degree there, speak Spanish, and have worked with many immigrant families over the last six years, and thus I feel a civic duty to share my experience and knowledge with the psychotherapy community.

DACA is a temporary protected legal status (TPS) created by the Obama Administration in 2012 to protect children from deportation after arriving without legal authorization (usually with undocumented parents). I use the word “undocumented” instead of “illegal,” because “I believe that no human is illegal”. We don’t call a 14-year-old driver “illegal,” or a 17-year-old drinker either. Language matters; we want to use inclusive, respectful and empowering language—after all, as therapists, language is our primary tool to promote healing and change.

There are roughly 800,000 DACA recipients in the U.S. (not including the additional 300,000 who are eligible but don’t have DACA status), approximately 75,000 of whom reside in California, and around 40,000 in San Diego. Most are Latinx, have undocumented parents and have migrated in search of safety and economic opportunities unavailable in their countries of origin. You can also use the term “DACA-mented” to describe the unique experience many DACA-mented folks experience of feeling like a foreigner—unable to access government assistance such as student loans or the vote, yet simultaneously feeling like the U.S. is the only place to call home because most DACA recipients grew up here. It is very important to be aware of how the individuals and families with whom you work self-identify. For example, I have a few female clients who have told me that although they appreciate the term “latinx,” they prefer “Latina” instead to emphasize their pride in being female.

To make matters more complicated for families of DACA status, on September 5, 2017 the Trump Administration canceled the DACA program. Although current recipients can still renew their status every 2 years for $495 plus legal fees, no new applications are being accepted. There is currently no guarantee of permanent residence or citizenship as DACA status only provides a social security number, authorization to work, and a driver license. The future of DACA remains undecided in two pending Federal court cases. Added to this, a majority of DACA recipients have parents who are undocumented, which is terrifying for them given the increasing anti-immigrant sentiment and recent increases in ethnic profiling, detainments, raids, distressing executive orders, and deportations.

Resilience

Clearly this population is at risk and needs competent, knowledgeable and supportive mental health practitioners. DACA families commonly face poverty-stricken households and neighborhoods, PTSD, agoraphobia and depression, and other psychological distress emanating from family separation, and a realistic fear of leaving the home for fear of deportation and societal discrimination. Our job as therapists is to educate, understand, heal and help manage the numerous traumas related to fearing for their own and their family’s future. The exclusionary and dehumanizing messages, xenophobia, and ethnocentrism rampant in the current political rhetoric has contributed to the hyper-vigilance and fear this population faces daily. It’s vital that these families attribute their pain mainly to the adverse events and unjust immigration circumstances instead of to themselves personally. More crimes are committed against undocumented and DACA families than by them. They live and contribute to society the same way that legal citizens do—working, studying and paying taxes. Yet they aren’t afforded the short or long-term security of citizenship, which can be so easily taken for granted. We can’t afford to ignore that one’s immigration and legal status, which in many ways form the bedrock of identity, have become so politicized on the national stage at the expense of the individual caught in the rhetoric.

Although this discrimination can gradually erode physical and mental health for families of DACA status, it’s crucial to recognize and appreciate the resilience that I have witnessed in my clinical work with this is population. Even though health settings tend to focus mainly on the risks and deficits associated with DACA, undocumented and mixed-status families, Latinx DACA recipients and their families, have in my experience been a strong group of people. “Latinx DACA and mixed-status families tend to be hopeful about a better future”, even given the current political climate. Immigration scholar and professor Dr. Carola Suárez-Orozco at UCLA refers to this as “immigrant-optimism.” They also tend to value education and have a robust work-ethic—many are excelling in schools and in their jobs. Moreover, these families tend to be closely-knit and extremely affectionate, loving and supportive, a major sign of strength. Unfortunately, this has been periodically pathologized as “enmeshment” by Western-oriented therapists and other practitioners who are not as knowledgeable about cultural norms and sociopolitical contextual variables affecting our clients.

The resilience doesn’t end there; DACA recipients often benefit from the advantages of being bilingual, binational, and bicultural, which is correlated with increased employability, cognitive flexibility and enhanced capacity for perspective-taking. I have witnessed immense cultural pride, religious and spiritual strength and social support within this population. There is also a present-time orientation—contrasted with the greater emphasis on past and future in the U.S. that helps affected families enjoy and appreciate their time together and to stay closely knit and loving, despite the fear of uncertainty always lurking in the background. Understandably, DACA recipients have reported that “coming out” publicly has been tremendously difficult; many parents coach their children to be furtive with their immigration status for protection and unity. This appears to be very appropriate given the associated risks of “going public.”

Consistently witnessing these families strive, grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient as time passes and therapy progresses, has not only encouraged me to continue this work but has also instilled a sense of vicarious resilience within me. As I mindfully reflect, I feel that I have grown stronger and wiser personally and professionally from continually seeing these families do so time after time. I owe this vicarious resilience to this population’s courage in their work with me. Next, I’ll share a brief snippet of my work with one family. I’m eternally thankful to this family for allowing me to share their story, of course with their identities concealed.

Sergio

Sergio, age 17 and a DACA recipient since 2013, was brought to therapy by his parents, Tina and Jorge, who were concerned that he hadn’t been sleeping or eating well, had been struggling academically, worrying excessively and had become increasingly nervous and irritable. His parents brought him to California when he was 11 months old in search of better economic opportunities. They hired a “Coyote” to cross from Tijuana—fortunately, they were neither abused nor robbed en route which are very common occurrences.

After a careful assessment, Sergio met the diagnostic criteria for Adjustment Disorder with Anxiety. Jorge, his father, had been suddenly detained by ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) when walking from the car to a restaurant where he had planned to dine with his wife and Sergio’s two siblings. Jorge was detained for the night and released in the morning. Sergio remembered experiencing a panic-filled and sleepless night following his father’s detention. Although Jorge was detained only briefly, a court date for the following year was scheduled at which time his deportation would be decided. This only added to his son’s sense of impermanence and anxiety. We don’t currently know the extent to which Jorge’s previous DUI contributed to his arrest or will factor into the court’s impending decision regarding his status. I have collaborated with Jorge’s lawyer in documenting what I considered would be an adverse impact of deportation on Jorge’s family.

Sergio has shared that he constantly worries about “having to be the man of the house” and having to help raise his younger brother and sister if his father is deported. He also worries about his own future in the country since the DACA program was rescinded last year. Because Sergio is old enough to understand and psychologically strong enough and high-functioning, we have collaborated on a “family preparedness plan.” Fortunately, Sergio’s family is closely-knit and resourceful and has supportive relatives in the area who have lent his family money to cover Jorge’s legal fees. Sergio also speaks English and Spanish, a big plus when he enters the job market, and has maintained a 3.84 GPA up to his senior year in high school. We have discussed the traumatic nature of his father’s arrest along with the wider socio-political injustice and hateful rhetoric that have contributed to his symptoms; shifting the narrative from believing something is wrong with him to his anxiety being a normal response to abnormal circumstances. Together, we have highlighted the strengths he’s developed from coping with this uncertainty. We also review mindfulness strategies to embrace the here-and-now, so that he may sleep better, and utilize EMDR to reprocess the horror that periodically torments him from that day.

“It’s essential to emphasize that therapy has significant limitations if wider sociocultural and political influences are not considered in the work”. No therapy can resolve the uncertainty of Jorge’s future in this country with its increasingly strict immigration policies. Helping families talk about injustice in therapy is a step toward effectively managing it. In fact, Sergio shared helpful information with his community such as the app Migrawatch for warnings of any future raids in real-time, which we agree has helped his anxiety symptoms. As Sergio’s therapist, I know that symptom management isn’t enough and realize the importance of opening a dialogue with him and other such clients. I also consider it crucial to share my personal commitment to progressive politics and public advocacy of immigrant rights that have helped Sergio and his family embrace their resilience, and that will hopefully challenge the injustice in his own community.

Therapeutic Tips

Here are some practical tips I hope will be helpful in your own practice if you have the privilege of working with clients like Sergio and his family. Additional information can be found in the article Ten Psychotherapeutic Considerations to Assist Young Undocumented Latinx by LaRoche, Lowy & Rivera(1)

  • Remind them in the informed consent that disclosing their status, is never part of your mandated-reporting requirements, and unwaveringly commit to confidentiality.
  • Shift problem-saturated narratives around DACA and U.S. immigration-policy toward resilience.
  • Emphasize their many strengths alluded to above; use them as assets in treatment-planning.
  • Help families create a “preparedness plan” in the event that a member is suddenly deported, and capitalize on other aspects of their lives that they can control in the here-and-now. This can include appointing guardianship for children and referring families to the “Toolkit for DACA Families” by Chavez-Dueñas and Ademes(2). Be careful that although this helps by increasing a sense of power/control, these can initially foster anxiety. The same is true for rehearsals of the plan or confrontation with officials. DACA families have the constitutional right to “remain silent” and contact their lawyers in response to police, ICE, or immigration officers.
  • Use a genogram to help families understand the current makeup of their transnational extended family. Unlike the generic caucasian nuclear family, Latinx families often include non-blood relatives, who should be included in the “preparedness plan.”
  • Check your assumptions; don’t assume they speak Spanish because their parents brought them here from Latin America.
  • Speaking and learning some Spanish is always a plus.
  • Be bold; don’t only have the LGBTQ pride flag in your office but have the butterfly symbol to show your support for this population.
  • Remind them that Title IX prohibits discrimination based on ethnicity, nationality, or race for organizations that receive federal funding; DACA recipients arguably are included.
  • Since these families don’t leave their homes because everything is fine in their native countries, it’s vital to know why they left and their immigration story, which is likely to reflect trauma and separation, and help clients understand and overcome trauma from these adverse experiences.
  • Encourage families to use the app Migrawatch to see if a raid is taking place
  • Know the limitations of weekly therapy in helping families cope with intense and chronic immigration stressors and societal discrimination.
  • Collaborate with a multi-disciplinary group of lawyers and medical doctors.
  • Use your privilege! Utilize your civic rights to advocate (a good therapist is always a good case manager) and censure deleterious deportation policies through organized protests and rallies, and calling local politicians or elected officials. As therapists, I believe we have a civic duty to advocate for this community and promote sociocultural transformation. As therapists, we cannot be quiet or neutral in the face of the numerous injustices this population faces.

In the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Martin_La_Roche/publication/322255405_Ten_Psychotherapeutic_Considerations_to_Assist_Young_Undocumented_Latinx/links/5a4e832a458515e71b085836/Ten-Psychotherapeutic-Considerations-to-Assist-Young-Undocumented-Latinx.pdf

2 https://icrace.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/final-immigrant-parent-toolkit.pdf
 

A Barbie in Paris

Barbie girls do not visit my therapy room that often.

This one was from a Fashionista kind – perfectly blond and dressed up for a lunch in town with her equally well-groomed girlfriends on stilettos.

This is the unkind thought that crossed my mind as I opened the door and greeted her. I felt bad; a spark of shame made me smile a bit more broadly to her than I would usually do. How could I reduce this person to a soulless doll? Nadia (no, she was not called Barbie) was probably suffering – otherwise why would she be here?

She was a Russian-American living in Paris. Her parents had immigrated to Texas when she was eleven; and this is where she had grown up – she stressed at the very beginning of our session. She felt American and preferred to speak English with me, if I did not mind. I did not.
Her English was perfect indeed, with a subtle Southern twist.

Ignorant of my inner thoughts about her, she sat down, crossed her long legs and kicked off:

– I hate everything here.

This was a rather unusual beginning. My American clients are typically fascinated about Paris, though, sometimes, this initial idealization turns into disillusionment or frustration about the French administration or widespread snobbiness.

– Everything?
– Yes, I hate French people, I hate French food…
– Is there anything you might like about Paris?
– Nope.


She sounded certain; the frozen frown on her perfect face confirmed this commitment to disgust. I believed her feeling. She looked fed up with trying to fit into a place she did not belong to.

The only reason Nadia was still living in France was her French boyfriend.

At first she had found the idea of following this Frenchman to Paris rather appealing. Her Texan girlfriends were finding it exciting, they could not hide their envy. This sat well with her – she was into fashion, and Paris was the place. She could picture herself working for one of the luxury brands, wearing a Chanel jacket and some fine jewelry…

Who was this man? How did he connect with her? What did he appreciate in her apart from her looks?
I did not get much out of her: he was rational, well-organized and made good money.

Is it ever possible to love someone and completely dislike the culture this person belongs to? Having loved France and a French man for twenty years, I naturally doubted that, but Nadia’s story was different: they had met in her step-motherland, the US, and her knowledge about France was limited to Hollywood movies and her mother’s dream to visit Paris, an impossible fantasy during Soviet times.

But Nadia was not interested in philosophical questions. She made it clear – she just wanted me to tell her that “her feeling was normal” and would pass with time: should she stay and give France another chance, or return home? She was desperately homesick.

Was this place rejecting her? Probably. This had been my first reaction after all – Paris is not to welcoming Barbie girls – its well-known lights can be disappointing and lack the promised glamour. My own Frenchness, acquired through hard work, had rejected the way she was exhibiting herself.

She stubbornly rebuked my attempts to enquire into her relationship with her original home, Russia. She did not have much recollection from her first years of life there, and had never given it much thought. She insisted on being happily American. Could it be that her current exposure to another strong culture was threatening her American identity?

Working on this is possible in long-term therapy and can be painful at times. I suggested that, as long as she was ready to commit.
Nadia was resisting taking any responsibility for the flaws in her relationship with France, she just could not do anything else than hating the country, the people, or the food here.

After going in circles for an hour, we did not manage to move an inch beyond this initial point. I sat there in front of her, moving closer to the realization that I could not help her without her cooperation.

When I finally closed the door behind her, I felt exhausted and relieved. My guess was that she would not be coming back. I felt used by her, and as result mildly ashamed.

Shame is a tricky but always informative feeling.
What was it about? Maybe this shame was something Nadia was experiencing deep down under her tight red top, under her perfectly tanned skin?

Reflecting on our session, based on the very little she had shared with me about her past, I could imagine the young Russian girl brought by her parents to a new and probably alienating place. She had mentioned that the first year had been hard – children at school mocking her for her wrong clothes and wobbly English. But she was a tough kid, and soon enough she had joined the group of the ‘popular girls’. This had come with a cost – losing weight and learning how to play totally new and strange sports among other things …

Thinking about this teenager dealing with her new immigrant condition that she had not chosen, I could finally feel some compassion.
Here in Paris, the adult Nadia was certainly feeling as inadequate as the younger Nadia during her first years in America. The fact that this time she was the one making the choice to move did not make it any easier.

My intuition was proven right – Nadia never came back, neither did she follow up on our unique encounter. This happens rarely, and every time it does I am left with more uneasy questions than answers. Did I fail her somehow? Should I have done something differently or was I simply not the right therapist for her?
Even now as I am writing about Nadia, I feel an uneasy feeling, a mild embarrassment about failing to connect with her, to feel for her more in the moment. Had I been able to connect with the young Russian girl, ridden by the feeling of being too different from other truly American kids, would it have gone any differently? Perhaps her Barbie-like façade was the only way she had found at the time to fit in, to belong. How desperate she would have been to fit in to adapt her own personality to this caricature of a perfectly American girl. Had she played with foreign-looking Barbie dolls as a little girl back in her native Russia?

Most probably I will never find answers to these questions, and as any other therapist, I had to learn how to deal with such frustrations and uncertainties – they are part of my job.

I hope that one day Nadia is safe enough to get in touch with her shame about her imperfect origins. After all, she chose to contact me – a Russian become French, rather than one of the many American psychotherapists in Paris. Maybe a well-hidden part of her wanted to connect with her ‘shameful’ roots; but for now this part was too small and too insecure. I had to accept that and hope that in the future she will give therapy another chance…
 

Dreamwork in Stereo

Have you ever struggled to share your dream with somebody in the morning? What seemed most vivid and realistic just a moment ago, when verbalized, turns into senseless gibberish, doesn’t it?

What about adding another difficulty to recounting a dream, namely telling it in a foreign language? Which of their languages to use is a dilemma faced by many of my multilingual clients in therapy. It may also open doors that neither they nor I would have dreamt of.

Francesca was Italian, living in Paris. When looking for a therapist, she had reached out to me because we shared common emigrants’ background, and three languages: Italian, French, and English. She was going through a double transition: recently married, she was settling into her new role as a wife when she was laid off by her employer. As a result, Francesca felt anxious, stuck at a crossroads between countries, lost in her professional life, and unfit for her new married life.

She had chosen to communicate with me in English, as Italian felt “boring and obsolete” to her. Having left her country in her early twenties to pursue artistic studies in the US, she was now living in Paris, working as a designer for a large fashion house. Her adopted English was her language for “creativity and self-growth”, as she put it.

For the first time in the two months of her therapy, Francesca arrived early. She rushed into telling me her nightmare:

She was late for her own wedding and stood naked in the middle of her bedroom. Her groom Alain was waiting at the church; she needed to dress quickly, but was unable to find her white-laced wedding gown.

The clock on the wall was ticking, adding to her growing panic. She pulled the door of a huge cabinet. Inside, a dirty pig was smiling at her, insolently.

Terrified, she pulled a rope hanging alongside the pig, hoping to make the beast disappear. But as a result, a shower of vomit dropped from the ceiling, full of disgusting noodles.

A strong smell of vomit had woken her up.

Now, sitting in front of me, she looked sick indeed.

Going through the dream again, with me as a witness, had been sufficient for Francesca to make some sense of it: she realized that the ticking clock could be her biological clock (time for children), time passing on the job hunt, time to go back to Italy…

But, listening to her, I felt that something was missing: usually very much in touch with her emotions, this time Francesca was slipping into a very cognitive, fruitless field. Her storytelling made sense, but I wanted us to go further into exploring it. Two objects actually echoed in Italian in my mind: “the ticking clock” (orologio) and “the noodles” (spaghetti).

This “stereo effect” triggered my curiosity and I asked Francesca to tell her dream again, this time in her mother tongue.

She did, and as she started describing her anxiety, and the feeling of urgency at not being ready for her wedding, we both felt how the flow of emotions had finally penetrated the room. Francesca’s voice had changed. The immediacy of the emotional experience gave me goosebumps.

Francesca admitted that she had “felt much more emotional” when recounting her dream in Italian. If in English her mother’s not being there had not seemed to provoke any particular feeling (she had died when Francesca was a child); in the Italian version, her mother’s absence stood as a painful void. The sense of loss and solitude had become almost tangible, and I could see how much Francesca was missing her again at this stage of her adult life, when she may herself become a mother soon.

Listening to her Italian fluid words, I finally connected with the little Francesca, who, like any other young girl, had idealized marriage. In that ideal representation, maintained by a rich cultural imagery, she was to wear white and her parents would be there. The reality was different, her parents had been long gone, the white wedding dress was not compulsory, having a first child at her age was nothing abnormal in today’s world.

Now the vomit image made sense as well. She associated it with the pregnancy nausea, and her anxiety about not being able to be a good mum (or even not to be able to bear a child at all).

As she was sharing her fears with me, Francesca felt slightly nauseous. She recognized this very sensation in her throat as something she had been experiencing lately. She had been repressing it successfully, but could now understand the reason for it.

Finally, I asked Francesca to go back to her dream and replay it all over again. Playing with its own imagery seemed like an opening for re-writing Francesca’s story about herself at this stage of her life. This time, she decided to stop looking for the white wedding gown, as she realized that it was more important for her at this point to get to the church, where Alain may start to worry.

In this refabricated new dream, as she ran through the fields towards the church, dressed in her old jeans and a jumper, she reported feeling young and liberated; excitement replaced anxiety.

Compartmentalization is a psychological strategy, naturally adopted by emigrants. Francesca’s world was divided into two well-separated realms: her childhood and life in Italy before her expatriation, and her “new”, more independent, life in the US and then France.

Up until that session, using mainly English, we had been engaging with the latter; the young Italian girl had been left behind. This feeling was a familiar one: after all, she felt abandoned by her mother who had gone too suddenly and too soon. Sticking to English, I may have re-enforced this narrative, leaving the little Francesca to a lonely and sad past. On the other hand, had Francesca told me her dream in Italian only, we would have done a good job eventually; possibly an easier one. But having access to both “parts” of her through telling her dream in both languages had enriched our work.

Working with dreams in therapy is a deeply relational activity. We don’t just recount our dreams (as we do by writing in a dream journal), but we let somebody else enter its realm, and re-experience it with us. This is also why the language we use for it has a meaning. This unique experience had not only allowed me to see Francesca more fully, but our therapeutic relationship had deepened, with her younger and more vulnerable self now invited to the therapy room as well rather than waiting behind a closed door.

Dreamwork is a great opportunity to move forward the therapeutic work, especially with highly cognitive clients. The multilinguistic perspective goes one step further restoring a missing stereo effect to the music heard by the therapist.

The Multiple Languages of Therapy

We only had one therapy session with Inna. It ended with the bubbly feeling for me of a “perfect fit” that I get when I intuit that good work can be done with a prospective client.

We had the same cultural background and four fluent languages in common. It was the first time I saw such a fit in my therapy room, in fact. Maybe too perfect a fit, as I was to find out later.

Inna shared her experience of displacement, her feeling of not being in the right place anywhere, and her confusion about her multilingual self.

She reached out to me in French, a foreign language for both of us.

– “I am looking for a multilingual therapist”.

Her name (as mine) was telling of her obvious Russian origin, but I respected her choice of language, and replied in French.

My multicultural clients have helped me develop a set of “rabbit ears” for the linguistic choices they make, and I had received precious information here. Inna’s story was echoing those of many second-generation emigrants. She had been brought to Italy at the age of eight, when her mother had remarried. She quickly learned Italian. With her blond hair and typically Slavic cheekbones, she was different from other kids at school, and she knew it. But her perfectly fluent Italian allowed her to fit into this new environment.

The price she paid for that full fluency in a foreign language was a split of her personality. Her multilingual mind would efficiently maintain that split.

After Italy, she studied in France, and had then accepted a teaching position in a British university. Inna was now back to Paris for a short holiday, hoping to recover some of the bits of her self that she had left behind.

She saw English as a tool for professional communication, one for thinking and research. She complained that it seemed difficult to bond with her new colleagues and develop friendships.

In fact, the real language of the other more spontaneous part of her, the language of intimacy, was still Italian.

Inna had tried therapy in French before, but had found it of limited efficiency. Her then-therapist did not speak any other language.

As Inna was a really articulate person, I felt confident to take the risk of using our common mother tongue in the first session:

“Would you like to use Russian then?” I asked.

In therapy, switching back to the first, native, language can become a very strong, emotionally charged act. My clients come to me with the desire to express some of their troubles in this original language, even if often this desire remains unconscious as they reach out in their “other” language.

She accepted the offer to switch to Russian, but her speech was slightly uncertain, as it usually is when we have stopped actively using our mother tongue since childhood.

Inna told me the story of her multiple moves and her professional interests. Even if her new position offered her a good salary and a bright academic future, she felt stuck and somehow absent. Her teaching lacked passion and her relationships with students were limited, she felt. She was unhappy and feared depression.

As I was listening to her story unfold in Russian, I was becoming aware of my own strong feeling of frustration.

I was suddenly tempted to say something in Italian, to connect with her using the words of a language that happens to be, for me as for her, synonymous with choice, freedom and intimacy. Sticking to Russian, I could be overlooking her Italian self, that little girl who had finally found some warmth and security in her new Italian-speaking home.

After all, something similar had been happening to her in England, with these “other” non-English-speaking parts of her not being seen nor welcomed. At least, this is how she felt.

I hoped that with a lot of patience and time we could eventually integrate these scattered parts of her personality, and bring together the sadness of her Russian child, her Italian emotional teenager, and her bright adult who used English for thinking and verbalizing. This integration is always the aim of therapy, but, with multicultural individuals, this road happens to be paved with the mosaics of their linguistic abilities.

Inna has not come back after this initial session, neither has she returned my follow-up email.

Therapy with multilingual individuals is a fascinating challenge. But is it ever possible to access each part of their personalities, which express themselves in a particular language? Or do they remain partially locked within a specific linguistic frame, beyond the language in which therapy develops?

What would have happened if we had used English for Inna’s therapy? She might have felt less exposed. The cognitive shelter of this “neutral” language might have allowed us to go further. English, after all, was exempt from any early traumatic experience here; it could have offered the safe and holding space that is so necessary in therapy.

Keeping silent, Inna swept away all the languages that we shared, leaving a questioning instead, that may actually sound chords that are beyond language itself.

Whiteness Matters: Exploring White Privilege, Color Blindness and Racism in Psychotherapy

White Therapist as Racial Subject

Our profession is concerned with multicultural competence (I assume readers of this article are as well). Despite that, our canons of psychological theory remain euro-centric, yet are largely assumed to be universal; our assessment and diagnostic systems are biased in the same vein, while they are used as guideposts in courts of law, prison, schools, and medical venues; research largely makes assumptions of universality without qualification that population samples are overwhelmingly white; and our delivery of services, even the “culture” of psychotherapy itself, remains white-centric. Whiteness as the only representation of humanness is in the “air,” so to speak, of Western psychology, something many writers, researchers, and psychotherapists of color have written upon (see end of article for resources), and a few white authors have noted as well, Dr. Gina deArth1 among them.

In my experiences speaking and writing about racial identity and racism as a white person in general, it has most often been challenging creating dialogues with other white people. My experience is not an unusual one. More often than not, when racial identity and racism are discussed among white folks, we primarily focus upon the racial identity and racism outside of ourselves (in others, in institutions, in systems, in history, and so on) while also claiming an individual absolution from racism—well, I’m not racist. The two are contradictory and deny the socialization we have all experienced in the wider community of the United States if not in our families.

No white person can reasonably claim that they do not participate in and are not shaped by racial subjectivity and racism, yet this is one of the more common claims that arise in conversations between white folks. Nadia Bolz-Weber, author of Accidental Saints, and an anything-but-conventional white Lutheran pastor, expresses well how white folks are seduced to hide the influence white supremacy has had on us, and the impossibility of escaping the reality of being formed by that supremacy: “Like so many of us, I was born on 3rd base and told I’d hit a home run . . . the fact is, just because I don’t like racism or agree with it, that doesn’t mean it’s not still part of my makeup.”

There is not enough investigated, discussed, and written in psychology about the racial subjectivity of whiteness, that is, the varied lived experience including experience of privileges and participation in racism on levels varying from the personal to the institutional, as well as the meanings of being white. I am interested in exploring conversations about racial subjectivity and racism. I consider this a lifetime kind of practice, albeit an uncomfortable and certainly imperfect one. Engaging in an ongoing investigation into my lived experience of whiteness both on individual and relational levels is a vital part of being an ally to people of color, and to being a better therapist to all of my clients, akin to how my personal psychotherapy enhances my work with clients generally.

Stating that, past exchanges with white colleagues and friends come to mind—all emotionally charged, sometimes emotionally injurious on all sides, anything but calm. I know how vulnerable and even incendiary talking about white racial subjectivity and racism usually is, how many defenses arise, and how it can be so difficult. I brace myself already for the “review” feedback to this article, for example. I think white folks need more practice in these discussions, including myself.

As a white person, accounting for one’s own racial identity and racism, talking about the larger system of racism bestowing power and privilege, is typically a conversation stopper among white people. Attributing the suspended conversations among white folks to racism is certainly a part of the stagnation (at least in some cases) but does not entirely flesh out the sophisticated psychological dynamics in ways that can loosen up the tightness that chokes off genuine exchange. The obstacles to creating open dialogue seem to be about several factors, among them: white guilt; protecting privilege; the nature of trauma (racism and acts related to it) evoking blaming and shaming; the lack of practice white people have in talking productively to one another about racism; desires to maintain an all-good self; the lack of white racial identity development and awareness; and the significant discomfort of sitting with the realities of and felt gratitude for the enormous privilege and protection light skin brings in our daily lives.

Though white folks today may claim they did nothing to “deserve” this power and privilege, the acknowledgement alone does not give white folks a pass on critically examining our lack of curiosity regarding the lived experiences of whiteness and racism. Curiosity about these facets of our selves is one antidote to unconscious whiteness. My desire in this article is to begin pondering how the conversations about white racial identity, racism, and psychotherapy gets hijacked among white clinicians, and to explore ways I have found (imperfectly) helpful in continuing the conversation. While conversation is not enough in and of itself, it is integral to greater awareness and action.

All Good or All Bad

We cannot get away from messages that being white is not only a universal representation of human experience and authority, but also an idealized one. Even if our white family of origin was anti-racist, larger society and systems socialize us otherwise. Psychologically, this is akin to being raised in an environment where caretakers delight simply in our existence; our attachment is secure while getting bathed in that unconditional love. This becomes our baseline normative experience of relationship and expectations of other people. We know how a childhood environment like that contributes to self-perception in permeating ways that are unconscious and influence life course. White folks have been bathed in unconditional acceptance and idealization for white skin; we have to work to become conscious of how this has shaped our expectations of how we move, interact, and think in the world.

White folks interested in what I am writing about understand that it is good to be anti-racist, and bad to be racist. It’s good to be aware. No white person I know wants to be bad. An entirely individualistic focus on racism, however, essentializes the discussion and understanding of racism, it occludes exploration of white racial identity, and it raises defenses exponentially. While of course there are individual acts of racism, they are occurring within an inherently racist milieu whereby all white people are benefitting, regardless of individual actions. For example, as a profession we do not integrate in every aspect of clinical education—from intellectual inquiry to clinical training—multiple and multicultural points of view on what is pathological, diagnostic, healing, and so on. Other points of view taught in one-off multicultural competency courses are just that—other.

Talking about and thinking about white racial identity and racism as a binary good-bad is a way to ignore the complicated and uncomfortable parts. The African American scholar and filmmaker Omowale Akintunde writes: “Racism is a systemic, societal, institutional, omnipresent, and epistemologically embedded phenomenon that pervades every vestige of our reality. For most whites, however, racism is like murder: the concept exists, but someone has to commit it in order for it to happen.” Racism is not simply individual action, nor is combatting it simply about courses in multicultural competency.

In talking with my white peers as well as in my own self-reflections, the feeling of power due to racial identity is rarely consciously felt. Yet if we wait until we personally feel the social power of whiteness to validate the reality of it, nothing changes. Even if we are white and members of other oppressed groups of people on individual and societal levels such as being working-class, disabled, immigrant, or queer-identified, we may not have social power in the arena of economics, physical ability, native citizenship, or gender and sexual orientation identifications, however we nevertheless carry the robust social power of whiteness. There are studies upon studies validating the power of whiteness, let alone anecdotal evidence.

That it is difficult for white folks to talk with one another about racism or something racist that occurred in the moment (a microaggression, for example) is reflective of the positive reinforcement that silence among white people on the topic receives. The silence on racism is balanced only by the silence of white racial identity. Silence keeps the status quo; it also keeps everyone “comfortable,” and keeps white people connected to one another in “likable” fashion. When one white person breaks the barrier of silence, often he or she is shamed, ostracized, or defensively attacked by other white people. We are ejected from the group, placed in a binary of something like being disruptive, arrogant, myopic, or mean while the remaining silent members rest in being well-mannered (and defended). The white person who speaks up among white folks about racism often becomes the recipient of disavowed racism from other white people, something that has been observed in clinical encounters where white therapists disavowing their racism (and other unwanted characteristics) project them onto their clients of color.

Using Mindfulness to Notice Patterns of Prejudice

An example may help elucidate, and I will give one that begins on the individual level and then includes a group level. If I walk down the street in the evening and see a black man standing at the corner wearing a hoodie with his hands in his pockets and low-slung (sag) jeans, I might wonder about my safety—if even for a split second. That I wonder less, if at all, if it were a white man is not benign—nor is it an egregious act of violence. It is prejudiced, however, and shaped by racist socialization on a level outside of my family of origin. When I catch myself in such a moment of thinking, I don’t spiral into a guilt trip or any other self-critical trip, but rather note the manifold ways racism is part of me even though my parents did not raise me as a racist, and even though I participate in white ally-anti-racism activities, and even though I continue to educate myself about racism and have done so since I was in high school. The practice alone of mindfulness regarding racism makes it easier for me to see its ubiquity, and to talk about it as well since a mindfulness practice is also a practice of non-judgment.

My experience is that some white folks deny this kind of racism, which is impossible given socialization. When I attended a meeting of white therapists focused on racism and our profession, one of the therapists wondered if it would be a good idea for us to out ourselves to one another about racist thoughts and acts in order to reduce shame, build awareness, and enhance conversation.

The room of about 30 white therapists fell silent. After some time of silence, I spoke about a similar kind of story to the one in the example above and reflected that using mindfulness as a vehicle to uncovering racism, to me, is essential to deepening learning about racism and practicing unlearning racism on an individual level. No one else in the room spoke including the person who brought up the idea in the first place. After even more silence, the topic was changed to how “difficult” it is that the larger professional organization of which this group was a part had not considered ever focusing on racism and psychotherapy like “we” were doing, and the remainder of the meeting was a discussion focused on how the organization should change. Racism was located suddenly outside of the group of we white therapists.

DiAngelo describes similar patterns of interactions among whites such that the person breaking silence receives response from other whites ranging from attack to being ignored, and the group shifts focus to racism occurring outside of the group. It is so risky, so emotionally charged, and perhaps even threatening for white people to talk with one another about racism. Even as well intentioned as this group of therapists were, as a group we were not ready to really engage with one another around our racism.

Color blindness and the Costs of Unexamined Whiteness

“If we hold the perspective of colorblindness, it falls to us as individuals to make it on merit, on individual characteristics versus larger forces.” This means that folks who are unemployed and poor are so due to character rather than systems of oppression and the after-effects of transgenerational trauma that are set within those oppressive systems. If subscribing to colorblindness, psychologically we might consider that symptoms of paranoia, depression, and anxiety are universal and not influenced by living in a racist society, nor adaptive and normative, rather than pathological. While intellectually I think most white therapists would understand these concepts, applying them experientially is another matter.

If we are colorblind, we cannot examine both the privileges and the costs of our whiteness. We are literally blinded. Some white folks do not want to be “lumped in” with the white group, and I certainly can identify times when I feel the same, yet as it has been widely noted, regardless of our personal desires regarding white affiliation, we are not granted privileges as individuals but because of the lack of melanin in our skin. The white sociologist Dr. Amanda Lewis reflects that while examining whiteness can be challenging (because whites generally do not understand themselves as being a part of a white group), nevertheless it is vital to explore not only because of the aforementioned, but also because whiteness shapes sociological and psychological imagination.

In writing about whiteness in the psychological imagination, African American psychologist Dr. Jonathan Mathias Lassiter suggests costs of whiteness to white people; heightened defensiveness, emptiness, meaninglessness, disconnection, and loneliness are among them. I can feel all of these to greater or lesser extent along some kind of continuum when I begin to examine how white identity manifests in me moment to moment, and specifically when I am experiencing some privilege, aware of this, and at the same time feel conflicted about it. I find this is primarily a self-focused reflection, and seems wrapped up with the lack of interdependency whiteness rests upon. The maintenance of privileged whiteness requires subjugated “others,” even when we are unaware or unconscious of this. Recognizing the costs of unconscious whiteness is not an exercise of victimhood undermining racism people of color experience; it is a practice of noticing how socialization of privilege also cuts us off from greater meaning, connection, and openness.

Guilt, Shame and Blame

An African American client of mine once remarked on my shoes, more specifically how I maintained them (which is inattentively to say the least), and how if she would do the same thing with her footwear white people would interpret her poor care of her shoes as an example of laziness, as fulfilling stereotypes of African Americans. Immediately I heated up, and thoughts jumped in my head arguing with her point of view—wasn’t she exaggerating?—and then feeling horribly guilty and ashamed that I was thinking these thoughts about my client with whom I have worked and built strong attachment over years of treatment. Initially, I named the racism she was talking about and only because, I think, of our long-term therapy relationship did I feel courageous enough to share with her my internal process, feelings, and how I had to “check” myself before I spoke. It was not the first time the client and I had talked of racism and how it plays out in our relationship, and I know it will not be the last. Coming clean with my client dissipated the guilt and shame I was feeling—as well as the blame toward my client. The conversation also brought us closer together. As she remarked, she always feels she can trust me more when I take a chance in being so honest.

I cannot say that I would take that risk with all my clients of color, most likely due to aspects of my defensive process. Invulnerability is integral to unexamined white identity, and to racism. The wish to remain seen and felt in a “good,” well intentioned way, in a liberal way, in a way that is understood as conscientious, is brittle when we are not willing to also be seen as speaking or acting in a privileged or racist way—or defending and refusing to examine these reflections of self when called upon to do so. This kind of invulnerability, however, cements guilt, shame, and blame in place.

In her article describing psychotherapy with an African American client, Melanie Suchet, a white South African émigré and psychoanalyst in New York City, describes how white guilt, shame, and blame gets in the way of productive therapy with her African American client. As therapists, what is most vulnerable in us with any particular client is frequently where we falter in the process. The faltering can be productive if we can use it, process it and understand it. In terms of white clinicians, our socialized racism and lack of white racial identity development, the vulnerabilities of white guilt, shame, and blame related to privilege, power, and other facets of racism are played out in particular ways with clients of color, and numerous articles, including Suchet’s work, highlight these.

It seems to me that the trifecta of guilt, shame, and blame is also silently played out with white clients and white peers, sometimes voiced with disavowal. Among white folks, what we do with shame, blame, and guilt makes a difference. We may freeze, disengage, become enraged, or use the guilt or shame as defenses too, all allowing us to leave the conversation of racism and white racial identity behind. DiAngelo notes how discussions around racism among whites evoke common responses like anger, withdrawal, freezing, cognitive dissonance, and argumentation—in other words, quite a bit of defensiveness. She calls this white fragility. White fragility is an intimate companion of invulnerability, both inherently defensive, and both soaked in the trio of guilt, shame, and blame.

Continuing Education in Talking about Racism

In mental health professional meetings, I find it curious that white clinicians may not be interested in enrolling in anti-racism seminars such as the one I attended, nor to even take advantage of learning materials. “Some white psychotherapists have explicitly said that this kind of training is irrelevant to psychotherapy, or not concerned enough with emotional safety (of whites), and generally not necessary for therapists who are trained to listen deeply with empathy.”

Recently, a professional organization of which I am a part offered an excellent day-long seminar regarding the psychological pain of people of color. I find these kinds of workshops more or less well attended by white therapists, but they are limited in that they continue to focus on people of color as “the other”—which is more comfortable. It would be so useful for the multicultural competence, let alone for further growth among white clinicians, if we engaged in experiential (not intellectual) seminars on anti-racism such as those offered by StirFry Seminars and Consulting near where I live (I don’t work for them by the way, but offer them up as an example as I have participated in trainings there). I could see from that baseline kind of education, white therapists might develop additional seminars for further training such as countertransference racism, guilt, and shame; how to develop awareness of racism within us and how this impacts the therapeutic relationship, and so forth. If our conversations among all of us about racism are to deepen and widen, if our awareness is to expand outside the binaries of good and bad, continuing education about racism is necessary.

Uncovering White Racial Identity

Of course these stages are not abandoned once we pass through them, or at least that is not my experience. The nature of privilege is that we have a choice to not engage experientially and affectively the work of anti-racism in whatever ways we are able to do so. Our privilege as white folks is that we can dip in and out of this work, and we can choose what aspects in which we want to participate. I know that I dip in and out of the work myself, evidence of privilege and how the stages of identity development are not linear. I do this at times even while intending to further my awareness practices. I am still able to “break away” by choice, and sometimes I do. Inhabiting a sophisticated white racial identity, to me at least, is not a static state; I do not know how it could be as the nature of privilege is constant, whereas awareness tends to vacillate. I think of white racial development as a practice for this reason, and one that involves further dialogue with other white therapists, and ongoing education along the same lines.

Emotional Home

Living and practicing as a white psychologist I grapple with these questions: Have I recognized my privilege today? How have I used my privilege today, and to what do I attribute the privilege received? Psychologically, how do I hold the trauma of current and historical racism without defensively deflecting it? How do I practice daily recognition and understanding of microaggressions in which I participate? How does racism impact my clients and me, regardless of racial identity? How do my favorite psychological theories and practices possess an assumed universality of humanity when actually they are only about one group of human beings? How does my white subjectivity influence and shape my work in general?

There are no clean, clear, sure-fire answers for these ongoing questions of mine. It does seem to me, however, that psychological thinking around dynamics of defense, racial identity development, and trauma (racial, transgenerational, and otherwise), are all useful to such a vast, permeating, and incendiary topic as racism and white racial development. It would be fitting for all of us practicing in this profession of helping humanity to lend our energy to ongoing personal exploration, wider discussion, writing, and speaking publicly about these topics. It is vulnerable, yes, but within the vulnerability as we all well know is the seed of growth.

References

1. Dr. Gina deArth's works can be found here.

2. Dr. Monica Wiliams' blog, "Culturally Speaking" can be read here

Further Reading

Fox, Prilleltensky, and Austin (Eds). (2009). Critical Psychology: An Introduction. California: Sage.

Mesquita, B., Feldman Barrett, L., and Smith, E. (2010). The mind in context. New York: Guilford.

Nelson, J.C., Adams, G., & Salter, P.S. (2013). The Marley Hypothesis: Racism Denial reflects ignorance of history. Psychological Science, 24, 213-218

Phillips, N., Adams, G., & Salter, P. (2015). Beyond adaptation: decolonizing approaches to coping with oppression. Journal of Social and Political Psychology, 3 (1), pp. 365-387.

Salter, P. & Adams, G. (2013). Toward a critical race psychology. Social & Personality Psychology Compass, 7(11), pp. 781-793.

Photo by Gerry Lauzon, some rights reserved.

Psychotherapy with Alien Beings: Cultural Competence (and Incompetence) in Psychotherapy Practice

A Klingon, a Cardassian and a Betazoid walk into Coffee Bar…

However, as on Earth, ethnicity in the Trek world comes with assumptions about behavior—stereotypes, as it were. Our Klingon will be aggressive both verbally and physically, possessed of less than perfect impulse control, yet fiercely loyal and courageous. The Cardassians are a tad pompous, overweening, with a tendency to believe themselves correct in all things, which is perhaps why they were so effective as colonizers for so long. And the Betazoid is empathic, in fact way beyond empathic, because Betazoids can read minds and feelings. The first psychotherapist character in the Trek universe was a half-Betazoid/half-human.

So the Trek-savvy among us think that we know what to expect and how to respond to our trio as they order their double tall split shot one pump mocha light foam extra hot lattes from the barista at Fremont Coffee. Their coffee order, by the way, gives you the clue that they all live in Seattle, as locals are famous for complicated coffee ordering. We psychotherapists with our degrees from the Star Fleet Academy have taken a class in diversity. Some of us have even read the Handbook of Psychotherapy with Klingons, given that working with Klingons has become a very popular specialty in the aftermath of recent wars and the uptick in PTSD in the Klingon community.

However, our expectations are entirely unmet with these three. The Klingon turns out to be quiet, polite, and shy, joking a little with the barista about the new purple streaks in her hair. The Cardassian goofs around with the other two, and is wearing jeans with holes in the knees and has a pierced eyebrow. The Betazoid seems utterly insensitive to everything going on around the coffee-drinking threesome, and seems quite self-focused when we listen in on the conversation. We sit, confused, wondering if we missed a chapter in the handbook about special concerns of species living in Seattle. Maybe the communities here are different? (All that coffee and rain). We think that perhaps we should take a continuing education class to update ourselves about the latest findings on these ethnic groups.

You may at this point be wondering why I’m telling you this tale of the extraterrestrials in my local coffee house and the confused psychotherapists who are observing them. The answer is that it illustrates something about what psychotherapists have generally believed cultural competence to consist of, and lays a foundation for my discussion of what I believe cultural competence to truly be—as well as how and why culturally competent practice epitomizes an integrative stance on psychotherapy practice.

What is Cultural Competence?

The problem lies most fundamentally in the paradigms for culturally competent practice in which most psychotherapists are trained. These paradigms at best generate a false sense of capacity and at worst, and frequently, engender feelings of guilt, shame, and incompetence, none of which are salubrious affects to bring to the practice of psychotherapy.

In the majority of psychotherapy training programs in the U.S. of which I am aware, the development of cultural competence has, until quite recently, been framed as the acquisition of data and algorithms about various groups of people. I call this the "Handbook of Psychotherapy with Alien Beings" strategy. Psychotherapists taking coursework on this topic memorize the “fact” that Asian Americans tend not to be psychologically minded, and will do better with advice and CBT, or that respect is centrally important to Latino men. We learn that in many instances our best course of action is to refer out to the colleague who specializes in Asians, or Latinas, or Cardassians, particularly one who is her or himself a member of one of these groups.

Sometimes in this graduate school class, frequently called “multicultural awareness” or “diverse populations,” there’s a week on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered (LGBT) people, another on aging. If the class is taught on the East Coast of the United States, the instructor may have spent some time on Jews and Italians, the not-quite-as-white Euro-American ethnic groups, while in California there might have been a lecture about Latinos, who occupy a similar niche in the social ecology of that state. A family therapy program may have assigned Monica McGoldrick and her colleagues’ work on the different kinds of ethnic families.

“No matter who’s included, the message of such training is that cultural competence is about them—it’s about the Other, the client who is “diverse,” and about how to address the problem of dealing with that other in psychotherapy.” These courses also commonly induce feelings of incompetence by conveying the message that psychotherapists probably don’t know how to work with the Other until they have acquired a set of rules about them. A strong subtext of this training is that the psychotherapist is not Other. Even when a psychotherapist is member of one of the groups being studied, such training communicates an interesting meta-message about the default assumption that, similar to police who define themselves as all blue, the therapist in training from the alien culture has now joined the new ethnic group of psychotherapists, who are de facto members of a dominant culture. As they say on Star Trek, “resistance is futile, you will be assimilated.”

This set of instructions is often intriguing to psychotherapists interested in psychotherapy integration. The “use this approach with this group” method encourages therapists to call on paradigms and interventions from several different approaches to psychotherapy, which they may or may not have in their toolbox. Thus when the integrative psychoanalyst meets the Asian client, she or he should have some CBT expertise to bring to bear.

This approach to teaching cultural competence conveys that clients who are Other don’t feel safe with or understood by most psychotherapists, and tends to induce feelings of guilt, shame, and incompetence in students. Psychotherapists will often develop anxiety about working with the Others, fearing that they will unwittingly be insensitive and hurt them, which in turn makes it that much harder for them to settle down and relate empathically with such clients. None of this is to say that having coursework on psychotherapy with the Other is inherently a bad idea; in fact, it has been a very good and necessary first step. The inclusion of any material on human diversity in psychotherapists’ training is a major advance from the state of affairs as late as the 1980s, when, as Robert Guthrie poignantly noted, “even the rat was white.”

My own training in clinical psychology in the early 1970s included absolutely no formal or informal instruction in human diversity. When I had my first African American client while in graduate school, my supervisor was as ignorant as I was about how to best make sense of him. Together we replicated the statistic about the Other dropping quickly out of therapy. We did that via a deadly combination of both therapist and supervisor feeling anxious and guilty, and my supervisor trying to school me, based only on his stereotypes and biases, in what to expect when working with one of “them.”

So the fact that by the 1990s it was becoming more commonplace for psychotherapists in the U.S. to encounter some formal coursework on human diversity in their training seemed wonderful to those of us who, like myself, had become passionate about making psychotherapy a more socially just enterprise. Even with the rules and the guilt and the shame, it was something. Attention to diversity had become a principle in the ethics code of American psychology, and a criterion by which training programs were accredited, and that was an important advance.

There were problems inherent in the first emergent model, however. “A therapist could read the Handbook of Psychotherapy with Klingons, and become known among the local psychotherapy community as the person who got the referral when a Klingon client showed up in their practice. This did nothing for one’s competence with Vulcans, though.” The norms for behavior in the two cultures are deeply opposite, the themes and metaphors distinct, and the approach to be used by a psychotherapist entirely different. The official Klingon expert might also not have learned much about gender roles in Klingon culture, and accidentally extrapolate earth-bound norms about gender to working with Klingon women, which would be deeply erroneous. Not many Klingons of earlier generations survived into later life, given their tendencies toward violence, so there was no chapter on aging in the Handbook. A 70-year-old Klingon shows up in your office—what do you do with him? The “learn a set of rules for the space aliens” that promoted doing cultural competence by rote gave you no instructions for this particular anomaly.

The reality that knowing a great deal of specific knowledge about a given group was a problematic paradigm for developing cultural competence as a psychotherapist became increasingly apparent toward the end of the '90s. Like the visitors to my neighborhood coffee house, many of our clients were refusing to follow the rules about their groups that psychotherapists had carefully learned and memorized in the diverse populations classes. Those of us who, like myself, had spent the '70s and '80s most preoccupied with gender and sexuality were impertinently commenting that these factors influenced expressions of ethnicity. The folks interested in social class and disability had similar notions about the possibility that those kinds of experiences might make for a different creature than the generic humanoid that we’d studied in our diverse populations class. Our coffee-drinking Klingon is a woman; the Cardassian is a trans man, and the Betazoid is a hip young cis-gender guy. The chapter on Cardassians never even mentioned gender expression. Eek. What’s the well-meaning psychotherapist to do?

Intersectionality and Integration

To understand these models, it helps to comprehend what we mean by the construct of intersectionality. Put simply, it is that each of us is more than the most obvious component of our identity, and that these mixtures of aspects of self occur in a myriad of ways. This also means that we have aspects of self, referred to as social locations, which inform identity even, or particularly, when they are invisible to others, and that relate one to another in a range of ways. As the protean actress Sarah Jones, who performs one-woman shows in which she becomes many characters, noted in a speech at the 2009 TED conference, “We are all born into certain circumstances with particular physical traits, unique developmental experiences, geographical and historical contexts, but then to what extent do we self-construct, do we self-invent? How do we self-identify? And how mutable is that self-identity?”

Psychotherapy is all about changing identities, from spoiled to whole—but perhaps we might find that we are more effective at making those changes when we are attuned to the component parts of the person’s tapestry of self. Appreciating intersectionality, which is core to culturally competent practice, to some degree requires openness and flexibility on the part of a psychotherapist; conducting psychotherapy from the starting point of grasping an individual’s intersecting identities is by and of itself an intentionally integrative strategy for conducting the business of psychotherapy.

Intersectionalities provide both psychotherapist and client with information about those processes of self-invention to which Sarah Jones refers. Attending to intersectionalities allows for interrogating the process of self-invention via the disentanglement of the strands of self, including those that have generated psychological distress and problematic behaviors. This disentanglement is to my way of thinking, central to the enterprise of psychotherapy. For many of the people who come to us with their misery, the process of self-construction has been one of problematic conflation—a tangling of negative characteristics and experiences of powerlessness and hopelessness with important aspects of self. All the while, other components of self, which might lead to a different and more functional and peaceful construction, remain in the background, ignored or unexplored.

ADDRESSING Multiple Identities

The first is a broadening of the dimensions on which human diversity might be considered. Rather than privileging ethnicity/phenotype as the sole or primary marker of human difference, these 21st Century models describe a multiplicity of the variables that I refer to as social locations—aspects of the social and interpersonal domain in which a person is located, some or all of which contribute to the development of identity.

ADDRESSING, for instance, stands for Age, Disability, Religion, Ethnicity, Social Class, Sexual orientation, Indigenous Origins, National Origin, and Gender. This is clearly not an exhaustive list—in my own recent work on cultural competence in trauma practice, for instance, I have expanded Hays’ list to include such factors as histories of colonization—both as colonizer and colonized—relationship and parenting statuses, size, attractiveness, combat experience, and interpersonal violence. Hays explicitly states, and I concur, that all humans have a stake in almost every one of these dimensions.

The second aspect that these emerging models of human difference offer is the vision of these factors intersecting in a multiplicity of ways. As I mentioned a moment ago, these intersections are not simply additive, or even multiplicative, nor necessarily layered. They are sometimes the sum of their parts; they are, on occasion, more than, or different from, that sum. Maria Root, who has been at the forefront of proposing new paradigms for theorizing the experience of people of mixed phenotype and heritage (aka “racially mixed”) has found, in her research on sibling pairs from such families, that there are as many as five different and equally likely trajectories of intersectional identity development. These include everything from going along with what the culture thinks you are, to “add and stir,” to the Tiger Woods “I’m a Casablanasian” strategy, to what Root calls “symbolic” identity in which the phenomenology of self is in no way visibly linked to biological characteristics such as phenotype or sex.

Understanding intersectionalities is a first step towards cultural competence. The parameters of cultural competence are no longer met by reading and memorizing the rules from the handbook of psychotherapy with the Other. “While some specific cultural knowledge can be helpful, we are beginning to see it as being as potentially misleading as it is informative. It is useful to know that Klingon culture is war-oriented largely so that we can consider what it means that our coffee-drinking Klingon is, herself, not.”

Instead, what the 21st century paradigms for cultural competence have generated is a new way of understanding how we, as psychotherapists, can understand the facets of people’s identities that are important to them, both those that transcend the distress for which they seek treatment, as well as those that inform that distress in terms of its etiology, its expression, and its treatment. From this standpoint of cultural competence, all symptoms are what the DSM calls “culture-bound.” A culturally competent lens lets us know that the thing we call Major Depressive Disorder is the Euro-American/European culture-bound version of expressing this particular subjective experience, for instance.

The next important component of these emerging paradigms is that they also require the psychotherapist to understand her or his own biases, and to engage with them mindfully rather than operate from the fantasy that they can be put aside in the name of that great illusion, objectivity. Culturally competent practice informs us that objectivity is what those in positions of power call their own subjectivities. Thus, the culturally competent psychotherapist has discarded the notion of neutrality in favor of that of compassion: observation without judgment, including judgment of oneself for being human and biased. She or he learns to notice bias, and to bring its realities into the foreground of consciousness, to say to the client, “Perhaps we can talk for a bit about the fact that I’m from Earth and you’re Klingon—what might that mean for you.” The old model of cultural competence that would be blind to difference is washing away; after all, how can one not notice the many deep furrows in a Klingon’s brow? Or the melanin tint in the skin of someone whose ancestors did not mostly come from Europe?

Working from the Inside Out

What if, instead of working in this top-down manner we switched polarities and, using our shared commitments to integrative work, began to tailor the therapy to the specific needs of our clients, and to work with them from the inside out? This is not a new idea; Prochaska and his colleagues’ “stages of change” model offers a meta-theory of psychotherapy which invites us to do just that, noticing that at each point in the process clients are more likely to respond to certain types of therapeutic interventions than to others. John Norcross has been suggesting using assessment of client stage of change as a strategy for customizing psychotherapy for most of this century. I’m suggesting we this a step further, and see cultural competence in psychotherapy as an ultimate outcome of integration, particularly of a common-factors model.

Working from the inside out with a model of intersectionality allows a psychotherapist to drill down deeply into the core of two things. The first are the sources of distress, of pain, of woundedness, of overload and disconnection—for it is at the emotional locations of our identities that many of our wounds lie. Sometimes the very fact of being wounded is one of the powerful threads running through the weave of our intersectional fabric; often, the wounds attach to other powerful threads. “Conceptualizing people’s psychological problems not only as symptoms to be eradicated, but also as evidence of aspects of identity, generates some very novel ways of approaching the problem of alleviating distress.”

The Ubiquity of Trauma

Many of us are children of trauma survivors, living with legacies of intergenerational transmission of trauma experiences. Indigenous peoples of this continent, African-Americans, Jews, Khmer, Native Hawaiians and Armenians are but a few of the groups that have been on the receiving end of genocidal violence.There is a plethora of additional examples, since trauma has been pervasive in human experience.

We are also perpetrators. Some of us are the descendants of slave-holders, of soldiers who shot women and children in this country’s genocidal wars against its indigenous people, of those who imprisoned or tortured others in the countries from which they came. Our ancestors suffered what Shays calls the “moral injury” of being trauma perpetrators, and in many cases that was traumatic to them, and to the family cultures that they created and of which we are the inheritors. Some of our families served in the governments of Batista’s Cuba, Stalin’s USSR, Hitler’s Germany, South Africa under apartheid. Some of our ancestors have been beaten; some of our ancestors administered those beatings. For some of us, our ancestors include both; many African Americans carry the genes of a slaveholder great-great-grandfather who raped their enslaved great-great-grandmother. Perpetrator and victim consciousness live within our cultures, our families, our psychological realities. They are a component of our constructions of identity.

The phenomenon of trauma attaches itself to the threads of intersectionality. Conceptualizing an individual’s distress from the standpoint of cultural competence leads us to query not only whether she or he is sleeping or eating or having terrible images of past or future come into her or his mind, but to consider the various facets of identity and how they interact one with another and create an individual’s suffering. We can then tailor our therapy relationship and the interventions that emerge from it to the identities and realities that are salient to this individual.

The second, equally important thing revealed by the adoption of an epistemology of intersectionality are the sources of strength, resilience, joy, and creativity that reside in the social locations which comprise the warp and woof of each individual’s identity. Just as these variables of identity inform distress, so they also generate narratives of survival, thriving, and active responses to the vicissitudes of the world.

Culturally competent psychotherapy practice thus begins with the client at the center of conceptualization, not with the diagnosis, not with a treatment manual, not with the therapist’s idea of what to do next. Rather than conceptualizing the problem, culturally competent practice “diagnoses” the person via a sensitive understanding of her or his identity, allowing that to generate a narrative which reveals distress and strengths alike. Questions of how to heal, and how to evoke strengths in the service of, and in collaboration with, the specific modalities of psychotherapy being offered, emerge from an understanding of those various strands of identity, rather than from the imposition of a particular psychotherapeutic model.

Evidenced-Based Failures and Common Factors Successes

As it turns out, an attention to the common factors and to psychotherapy relationship variables is frequently a way to be accidentally laying the foundation for culturally competent practice. What those of us who practice from the starting point of cultural competence have repeatedly found is that the intentional application of common factors, combined with a thoughtful and respectful attention to clients’ identities and intersectionalities, largely described how we operated. This has been true in my own work developing feminist therapy practice.

The more I developed theory in feminist therapy and deepened my own comprehension of what it implied, the more I realized that, not only is feminist practice a technically integrative one, as I had long been saying, but it is also a practice that is founded in the common factors, with strong emphasis on relationship variables. It is also founded most centrally in attention to cultural competence through the lens of gender. When, as feminist therapists do, I pay attention to intersectionalities via the strategy of analyzing gender, power, and social location, I inevitably find that my most effective therapeutic tools include the person-centered facilitative conditions of empathy, genuineness, and positive regard, as well as those variables that contribute to therapeutic alliance.

For instance: the presence of cultural empathy in a therapist—that is, the ability to suspend one’s frames of reference in order to deeply enter that of the client—has been strongly associated with good psychotherapy outcomes for clients who are members of target groups. The therapist’s capacity to own and acknowledge bias, and to apologize for its unintentional infliction (aka relationship repair) is also strongly associated with client reports of satisfaction and good outcome. Many clients who are members of target groups experience dominant group therapists as distant or chilly; these “cold therapist” variables, which are associated with weak therapeutic alliance, are often a by-product of the absence of a culturally-informed and competent stance on the client and the relationship.

Discourse needs to occur, in both and all directions, between those whose central focus on psychotherapy derives from the position of cultural competence and those most centrally interested in understanding the common factors of psychotherapy and integration across paradigms. One thing that I have found interesting, and curious, is that while the research on culturally competent practice comments on therapists’ capacities to engage in the sorts of behaviors that contribute to good outcomes through the lenses of cultural awareness, the common factors literature does not, at least in my reviews of it, pay any attention to issues of culture, identities or intersectionalities. While there is some very beginner work on matching of therapist and client on factors such as sex or ethnicity, there’s not really much in the psychotherapy outcome world that asks about identities, intersectionalities, and therapist awareness of bias and privilege. But how might the power of our work be enhanced if we also assessed such variables as the impact of cultural awareness and cultural empathy on client and therapist alike, and on the outcomes of psychotherapy? How might we be better served in our quest to develop psychotherapies that serve more people, more effectively, if researchers of outcomes routinely attempted to assess the cultural competence of the psychotherapist?

We Are All Other

My own bias, and that of the growing band of hardy souls who have been pioneering the broader model of culturally competent psychotherapy practice, is that when we start with the client’s identities and our own, and then work our way backwards into the therapy, we are not only more effective at integration across theories and applications, we are also more likely to meet clients where they are. This, I would argue, creates the interpersonal conditions within which people are more willing to take the risky steps inherent in a change process, because as psychotherapists we have initiated, and modeled, the willingness to change our stance, and modify our ways of seeing, and hearing, and knowing, in order to encounter our clients in their social and phenomenological realities. What I have learned by practicing from a foundation of striving toward cultural competence is that sometimes what looks like being stuck in the pre-contemplation stage can as easily be someone saying, “Why should I admit vulnerability and imperfection to you, oh member of the dominant group that already judges me from the moment you see me?”

I encourage each of us to remember that while we are all human, we are all each, in some important way, Other. If cultural competence infuses our work, then we are more likely to make the connections from which genuine psychotherapy occurs. Cultural competence is not a special topic, nor a political interest; it is, and should be, central to the work of psychotherapists seeking to most effectively empower our clients.