Category: Children

The Challenge of Therapy During War: Psychotherapy in Ukraine

Posted on by Psychotherapy.net Team

The Emotional Ravages of War

The ongoing crisis in Ukraine has placed immense psychological strain on its population, creating a heightened need for mental health support amidst war, displacement, and uncertainty. Therapists working in Ukraine face unique challenges requiring resilience, adaptability, and innovative approaches. The war has caused massive, widespread trauma with millions displaced and exposed to violence. Therapists working either face-to-face or remotely with their clients encounter acute and chronic PTSD symptoms, anxiety, depression, and grief due to loss of loved ones, homes, and stability. There is also considerable intergenerational trauma in families with histories of oppression.

While Ukrainians have a history of resilience, the impact of intergenerational trauma and mental health stigma persists. Many of my clients attempt to minimize emotional distress or express it through physical symptoms. They have historically hesitated in seeking help, viewing it as a sign of weakness. However, online therapeutic platforms like Soul Space, the one through which I work, offer easily accessible and safe resources for support and self-help tools that empower these individuals.

The Challenge of Therapy During War

Therapists, such as myself, often face secondary traumatic stress (STS) from absorbing clients’ pain, leading to symptoms similar to PTSD. High caseloads also contribute to burnout and emotional exhaustion. Therapists often work with limited supervision, professional development opportunities, or access to private therapy spaces. Displaced populations pose additional logistical challenges to on-ground clinicians. Balancing professional neutrality with personal feelings about the war, while addressing clients’ immediate needs and maintaining a therapeutic frame, are frequent concerns that challenge clinicians under these circumstances.

While teletherapy has been invaluable to Ukraninans under seige, and has allowed me to support more clients than had I been on the ground, power outages, poor internet connections, and client inexperience with technology often impede its effectiveness. It has also been critical for me to prioritize self-care, emotional hygiene, peer support groups, and supervision to process my own emotional experiences as I serve those devastated by the war. I have also found it useful to limit daily trauma-focused sessions to prevent emotional fatigue. Techniques like grounding and meditation have helped me to maintain strength and clinical endurance.

I have learned to respect clients’ cultural coping mechanisms in order to build trust and support empowerment, resilience, and self-efficacy. I have relied on trauma-informed approaches that begin with safety and stabilization techniques such as grounding exercises and psychoeducation about trauma, while also processing with practical problem-solving to meet clients’ immediate needs. Soul Space provides psychoeducational workshops to maximize reach, provide structured, and self-guided mental health resources.

Case Example

A displaced family of four sought therapy after relocating from a war-affected region. The parents reported anxiety, irritability, and hypervigilance; while the children displayed regressive behaviors and nightmares. My approach required the establishment of safety and routine in therapy, psychoeducation to normalize trauma responses, and activities that built resilience and mutual support. Nighttime relaxation rituals helped the family with wartime-related sleeplessness, while gradually igniting bonds of trust and security due to invasive interruptions of regular routines. The parents practiced simple grounding techniques to contend with their own anxieties.

The parents learned about trauma responses in adults and children, and were increasingly able to reframe the children’s behaviors as survival mechanisms instead of simply seeing them as defiance. Several grounding exercises were also introduced to the children utilizing sensory modalities by asking them to say five things they see, hear, or touch when feeling overwhelmed.

To strengthen family bonds, I introduced therapeutic play and storytelling to allow the children to articulate issues of fear in a safe and imaginative way. The parents were given the chance to have planned conversations to foster emotional conversations and model healthy expressions for fear and grief. We also created a “Family Strengths Tree” where they could record examples of salvaged resilience to remind themselves of their survival capacities.

The family finally began processing their experiences. The children created a storybook representing their journey, necessitating a shift in the focus from fear to resilience. The parents explored their guilt and grief using cognitive processing techniques, reframing self-blame into self-compassion. Throughout the intervention with this family, and as with other wartime displaced clients, I integrated formal online training available through Soul Space with my direct face-to-face work.

During our work together, the family experienced reduced anxiety, improved communication, and renewed hope. The mother’s panic attacks became less frequent, and the father started to emotionally reconnect with his children. The daughter began socializing again, and the son had a drastic decrease in nightmares and bedwetting. Coping mechanisms and family bonds improved. Working with this family, as with others, I have come to rely upon additional training courses in trauma-informed interventions, networking, and the importance of adapting my therapeutic techniques to meet the realities of life in conflict zones, including shorter sessions or combining therapy with referral for humanitarian aid.

Questions for Thought and Discussion

Whether or not you’ve worked with clients in war-torn areas, how do you resonate with the author’s sentiments?

Which of the challenges raised by the author are similar or different from those you have experienced with traumatized clients?

What are some of the core techniques that you have found successful in working with traumatized clients?

How to Create Positive Outcomes in Play Therapy: Following the Child’s Lead

Posted on by Psychotherapy.net Team

I’m an over-preparer. I want to be prepared for whatever happens. Not just in life, but in the therapy room too. I want to be prepared when a client doesn’t have anything to say. I want to pull out that worksheet and be like “No worries! Let’s work towards your therapeutic goals!” (Not in those words, but you know what I mean.) I do come prepared, no doubt, but I think my desire to be prepared can come from a deeper place of needing to feel in control. In a sense, I want to control what happens in the session. I think as therapists we all desire some control within our therapy space. Think about it. We tend to think we know it all; the perfect theory, the perfect worksheet, the perfect intervention for our clients.

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But I often stop long enough to ask myself, “Is this really what my client needs right now?” I think this desire for control can become especially hard to ignore when I work with child clients. This desire for control could be due to many different things such as pressure from parents to “fix my kid” or my assumption that child clients don’t know what they need, and I think I do know what they need. I am the expert after all…right?

But I also have to ask myself what happens if I let go of my assumptions, my agenda, myself, what could happen? What if I listened to that tiny voice in the back of my head saying, “Just go with it”? Letting go of myself and my desire to control was a difficult lesson to learn. However, I discovered that when I did let go, when I did listen to that voice saying, “Just go with it,” incredible things happened. And I learned this all from a 6-year-old boy I’ll call Adam.

What a Therapist Learned from her Young Client

Adam was having some emotional regulation difficulties in his first-grade classroom, so he was referred to me, the school counseling practicum student. As I got to know Adam, I learned that he loved video games. And that was all he would talk about. I was very aware, thanks to the elementary school counselor, of all of the difficulties Adam was having at home. Yet, when I would ask Adam about how home was, he would always say “Good,” and change the subject to…you guessed it…video games.

I tried many different interventions with him including sandtray, creative art, and as a last resort, talk therapy. Nothing worked. I was beginning to get discouraged because I felt that I wasn’t “helping” him, and he was still having the same issues in his classroom. I was not seeing progress.

When I brought this up to my practicum supervisor, she suggested an intervention based on Adam’s love of video games. The intervention was to create a video game controller and to create buttons based around coping skills and his difficulties. Then, the child would use this controller to “control” the therapist. The therapist would follow the child’s instructions and act out the buttons the child was pushing on the controller. This intervention was to give the child “control” of a scenario based around his issues. To my relief, Adam agreed to participate in the activity. However, when I tried to steer him in the direction I thought he needed to go, such as creating buttons based around coping skills and emotional regulation, Adam was quick to turn me down. Instead, he created buttons for running, jumping, fighting, and throwing erupting cupcakes at an invisible perpetrator.  

Throwing erupting cupcakes was not what I had in mind for this intervention. However, there was a voice in the back of my mind saying, “Just go with it.” So, I did…despite my other thoughts saying, “Nope, this isn’t going to work. He’ll never get better if you keep this up.”

But listening to this voice in the back of my mind would become imperative to what happened next.

Before my next session with Adam, the elementary counselor informed me that someone had tried to rob Adam’s home. She said that he had briefly mentioned it to her in passing and she wanted me to know just in case it came up in our next session. Well, during our next session when I asked Adam if he needed to talk about anything, Adam simply said, “Nope,” and continued to eat his lunch. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I simply wanted to help Adam, and I could tell there was still some resistance. However, I tamped down my desire to pry and to push and moved on to explain the plan for our session.   

“So, Adam,” I said, “Remember the controller we made together during our last session?” Adam nodded. “Well, we’re going to use it today.” I reviewed the button meanings with Adam and when we were finished, I said, “Okay, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to give me a problem and using the controller, you’re going to control me to help me solve the problem.” Adam began jumping up and down excitedly. “So,” I continued, “What’s the problem you want to use?” Now you should know that my idea of the type of problem I wanted Adam to come up with was “A friend beat me at a game” or “I got a bad grade on a test”. I wasn’t prepared for what came out of his mouth next.

Adam thought for a minute and then finally said, “You’re being robbed.” Without thinking, I said, “Well, let’s think of a different problem…maybe one that happens in everyday life.” Adam looked disappointed but started to think. Suddenly, an alarm went off in the back of my head and I realized what Adam was trying to tell me: He knew exactly what he needed; he needed to process the break-in he had experienced. The voice in my head was shouting: “Alicia, JUST GO WITH IT.”  

So, I listened and I pivoted. I said to Adam, “You know what? Yeah, let’s go with that. I’m being robbed.” Adam began jumping up and down excitedly. And then fun ensued. Adam pushed the “jump” button, and I jumped around the room. Adam pushed another button, and I threw erupting cupcakes. I ran and hid, I fought my perpetrator, all the while Adam was jumping up and down and laughing his little head off. Finally, after I was completely exhausted, Adam said, “You did it! You fought him off! He’s gone forever!” With relief, I plopped down in my chair as Adam erupted into applause for my performance.

As I reflect on this session, I notice how close I was to missing what Adam was trying to tell me. I was blinded by my own agenda. I thought I knew what was best for him. But in that session, Adam was trying to process something that was very real and scary in his world. And I almost missed it.  

Since then, I’ve learned to use my intuition and to listen to that little voice in my head saying, “Just go with it,” particularly when it comes to working with children. I listen to the child when I introduce an intervention, and they say “No,” I let them pick up the sandtray to play with because I understand that that is what they may need in the moment. I let them do my interventions in their own way. I allow them to control what happens in the therapeutic space because there’s a good chance that they don’t get that anywhere else.

All I can say is that I’m glad I let go of my agenda and my desire to control during my session with Adam because when I did, healing took place. And I want more of that. I want more than anything to help children process things they don’t understand. I want to be the conduit they use to control what is outside of their control. I want more laughter, more fun, more silliness. And overall, I want more healing to take place in the therapy room. Adam taught me a valuable lesson: To let go of myself and just go with it.  

Questions for Reflection and Discussion

How does the author’s reflections on her play therapy work resonate with you?

What do you appreciate about the author’s clinical work with Adam?

What might you have done differently with this particular child?  

Effective Family Therapy Using Football Metaphors

Posted on by Psychotherapy.net Team

Joshua, age 8, was referred for treatment for anger management and aggressive behavior occurring in the home. After the development of a therapeutic rapport between Joshua’s mother and myself, she began to discuss problems she was experiencing with all three of her boys. She described it as “boys will be boys” behavior which consisted of hitting, pushing, kicking, disrespecting each other with name calling, ignoring personal space, taking personal property, and progressive physical contact (rough-housing) until someone was hurt or crying.

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This was an otherwise solid, stable, two-parent family with no apparent deep-seated issues. Basic needs were met comfortably. The family had a shared interest — they were united in their love for football! All three boys played in leagues. Dad was a football coach, and mom was a football mother. During football season, league play and NFL on TV dominated their lives.     

Shifting Therapy to a Focus on the Family

When working therapeutically with children, I have always considered it important to know their interests, because it can be both a bridge to the therapeutic relationship and serve as a tool to help the child buy into the treatment process. After meeting with Joshua’s mother individually, we shifted the focus from an individual treatment focus to a family focus.

With both parents onboard, Joshua’s mother and I designed “Life is Like a Football Game,” a behavior modification program for decreasing unnecessary and inappropriate verbal and physical contact.

Amid laughter, Joshua’s mother and I translated the boys’ inappropriate behavior into metaphor using football terminology, and then built the behavior modification program and incentives. We then scheduled a family meeting to discuss implementing the Game. Family members were asked to wear caps and jerseys supporting their favorite football team.

In the family meeting, the “warm-up” conversation focused on the teams they represented and the teams they liked to watch. Staying in the metaphor of football, we discussed rules, breaking rules, and consequences for breaking rules. We talked about players who broke the rules and did not demonstrate respect for the game, the coaches, the referees, and the consequences of those behaviors leading to sitting the bench or losing the game.

The conversation was shifted into behaviors occurring in the home and Joshua’s presenting issue was reframed as a family one. It was the team that was struggling, rather than Joshua, and Joshua needed the support of his team, and they needed his. The boys were told we would use football language to work on the game. The parents were introduced as coaches and referees (complete with whistles). The boys each received a handout of the rules, penalties, points sheet, and award levels. We read the rules and penalties, and discussed “The Plan.” The following Saturday was set as “Game Day.” The family enthusiastically left the session and looked forward to Game Day.   

Family Therapy as a Game of Football

The Rules of the Game
  • Game Day will begin on Saturday at 8:00 AM each week.
  • Each player will start the day with 35 Player Points.
  • Each penalty will cost the player 7 points from his individual score.
  • If a player loses all his points for the day, he will be placed in the locker room (mentally) for the remainder of the day and out of that day’s game.
  • The coaches will total each player’s points on Friday evening at 9:00 PM. Awards will be determined at that time.
  • Awards may be accumulated. Points will begin again on Saturday morning.
Football Terms

Timeout: The intentional use of separation between players to regain control and respect for the rules of the game. A referee, coach, or player may call timeout. If the referee calls timeout, he/she may designate where the players receive the timeout. If player calls timeout, he may designate where he wants to take the timeout and the other players must find neutral zones not in the same room. Time outs will be 5 to 10 minutes in length and determined by who calls the timeout.

Instant Replay: Infractions may be available by cell phone. Players beware; you are being watched!
Penalty: A consequence for demonstrating a lack of respect towards a player, coach, referee, or the rules of the game. The following are penalties you will be called for:

  • Illegal Motion: The use of facial expressions, hands, finger, arms, legs, feet, or any body part to accidentally/purposely annoy or irritate another player, which communicates a lack of personal respect.
  • Illegal Blocking: The intentional use of any part of your body to stop the forward progress of another family member who is making movement to a determined destination such as the refrigerator, the XBox, their bedroom or any other room in the house, or the community environment.
  • Pass Interference: The intentional physical or verbal interference of a player in the discussion between a referee/coach and another player.
  • Holding: The intentional physical use of restraint by one player of another when there is no play activity involved.
  • Unsportsmanlike Conduct: A verbal and/or physical demonstration of behavior by a player in the home, school, or community that demonstrates a lack of respect for the property, personal, and physical boundaries of another player, referee, or coach, or carries a threat for potential harm or safety to the player, another player, referee, or coach.
  • Roughing the Passer/Roughing the Kicker: The deliberate physical striking, hitting, or wrestling of one player towards another player after the play has been completed or whistled dead by the referee.
  • Intentional Grounding: The deliberate throwing or hurling of any object not meant to be thrown (toys, XBox controllers, shoes, balls outside of a game context) by a player to another player as an expression of anger, frustration, or retaliation.
  • Ineligible Receiver/Illegal Possession: The taking or receiving of the property of another player without the permission of the player.
  • Delay of Game: Plays called by the referee or coach will be completed within 90 seconds “It’s time to go…Put the XBox away, etc.…” or the player involved will receive a penalty.   
Tiers of Privileges Awards 
  • Lombardi Trophy AFC 85-105 Points: monetary $6, batting cages, movie theater movie with parent or a friend, Cocoa Keys outing/Magic Waters, Rockford Aviators Game, Volcano Falls, anything in the Hallas or Heisman Trophy
  • Hallas Trophy NFC 64-84 Points: $4 award recognition, 30 minutes uninterrupted XBox time, may choose a fast-food restaurant (individual meal with parent), have a friend overnight, have a pizza delivered at home, game time with a family member, fishing time with Dad, 2 hours YMCA time, anything in Heisman Trophy
  • Heisman Individual Trophy 49-63 Points: $2 weekly award recognition, movie or game rental, pick a favorite meal, food, or dessert for a family home meal, trip to the $1 store, shopping with mom, tennis time (60 minutes per award), quality time with a parent of choice  

Family Response to Therapeutic Intervention

There were multiple factors that contributed to the success of the intervention. A critical factor was two stable parents in a stable marriage providing a stable home environment and consistent use of “The Plan.” The intervention occurred in the home where the problem was occurring which made it more naturalistic — home team advantage, so to speak. The family knew and loved football, so it was not difficult for the coaches/referees or players to understand, competitive spirit, the rules, the penalties, and the consequences. The behavior modification plan was built on a positive platform to encourage competition and success. Even the child doing the poorest was still a winner. Hidden in the incentive rewards system was a lot of parent quality time!

I would occasionally touch base with the mother, who indicated she and her husband were all initially very busy calling the infractions to drive home the seriousness of the issue. Eventually, the parents were able to put down their whistles and use verbal reinforcement. Over the course of time and with consistent repetition, the boys began to call infractions on each other — self refereeing. Problematic behaviors did decrease. The parents and the boys were able to apply this coded language when they were out in the community to literally “head things off at the pass!”

My total involvement with this family was less than 3 months! This family was able to take the sport they loved and apply it to their relationships with each other in the football game of Life.  

Questions for Thought and Discussion

What were your impressions of this therapist’s intervention?

In what ways have you integrated creative interventions in your practice with children and families?

What did you see as the benefits and possible limitations of this particular approach? 

Harvesting the Fruits of Popular Culture in Psychotherapy

Posted on by Psychotherapy.net Team

I heard a news report the other day about video games. It wasn’t about which new, must-have game would be flying off of the shelves during the holiday buying frenzy. Nor was it about which would be next in line for weaponization by the ladder-climbing politician du jour, a familiar trope dating back to the early 20th century around fears that radio, television, comics, and the movies would somehow pollute and derail our youth. Instead, the report offered a long view of the video game industry and the influential, mostly positive role video games have played in popular culture. It made me reflect on my work with the Popular Culture Association, my lifelong romance with popular culture, and the way I have integrated this passion into my clinical work.

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During my editorial tenure with Psychotherapy.net, we have featured a few blogs demonstrating the creativity, resourcefulness, and appreciation for the way that the fruits of popular culture—film, comics, books, television, movies, and/or video games, could be utilized therapeutically with clients of all ages. In Watch this Movie and Call Me in the Morning, I highlighted the role that movies play in therapy and the work of South African clinician Enzo Sinisi, who created an encyclopedic website of movies related to mental health and illness. In The Queen’s Gambit and Me: The Surprising Similarity between Therapy and Chess, Vikki Stark shared her own burgeoning passion for the game and how it influenced her clinical work with a 28-year-old who hoped to make just the right move to improve her relationships. And then there is the work of the dynamic duo of Larisa Garski and Justine Mastin, who brought the fascinating world of fanfiction and its clinical application to our readers through essays such as Therapeutic Fanfiction: Rewriting Society’s Wrongs.

The children and teens with whom I’ve worked over the years have kept me tuned into the latest figures and stories of popular culture characters, particularly fictional ones. I’ve never drawn a distinction between the stories of real-life popular culture celebrities and fictional ones because their stories are often very similar, plus or minus tales of galactic apocalypse or alien origins. But even then, I have found that the most far-fetched narratives can be mined for metaphoric significance and clinical gold.

And so it was with 10-year-old Kiko, whose looming expulsion from his third-grade placement compelled his desperate parents to seek therapy for him. Kiko had a school-centered history of impulsivity, inattention, mild learning difficulties, and occasional aggressiveness—just enough to alienate peers and leave him feeling “dumb” and like an outsider. He had his gifts, but those were largely masked by the struggles he had keeping up and fitting in. And, like all such gifts, they were overshadowed.

Kiko and I spent our sessions together in the playroom, where his creativity, playfulness and intelligence were unfettered by the rigid demands of the classroom. It was in this shared space that Kiko’s passion for and encyclopedic knowledge of the Japanese anime character Naruto took center stage. In the beginning of our work, I didn’t know much manga or anime, and even less of this fictional bad boy who was orphaned at birth, mysteriously implanted with the nefarious Nine-Tailed Demon Fox who was ever ready to and often did break free, leaving mayhem in its wake, leaving Kiko that much more isolated if not feared.

In puppet play, vulnerable weaker figures were victimized by stronger predatory ones, with the latter feeling contrite after misbehaving, a reflection of their deeper desire to be liked and a part of, rather than apart from others. Anger and difficulty controlling it were clearly salient elements of not only Kiko’s inner narrative but that of his parents and their often-tumultuous, alcohol-riddled relationship. In the original Naruto story, Team 7 played a dominant role as the group of characters who shared much in common as well as many heroic adventures. Being a part of this group became important for Naruto, as did Kiko’s desperate need to feel a part of his peer group and to somehow unite his often-embattled family.

In addition to the various creative media available to Kiko in my office was a shelf of vintage lava lamps, each of which percolated at their own unique rate, and which I often used as projective tools to gauge young clients’ inner emotional states. Kiko was mesmerized by these lamps and instantly connected their various rates of flow with his own ever-changing and occasionally explosive emotionality. He even fashioned an amulet in the shape of a lava lamp, adding it to Naruto’s armamentarium to fight the inner Demon Fox, and so learned to better regulate his emotions, particularly at school.

I won’t say that Naruto saved Kiko, but this complex and compelling fictional character, whose trials and tribulations often mirrored his own, provided an unforeseeable and invaluable metaphoric therapeutic conduit for us. And the many adventures that Kiko and I shared along his own road to self-regulation and burgeoning self-awareness were a testament to the power of the rich and limitless metaphors available in the characters of popular culture.

***

As a footnote, I remember leading a workshop years ago on the use of superheroes in play therapy and counseling with children and teens. During these particular workshops, I would search the audience of clinicians for the invariable one or two clinicians whose knowledge of superheroes far exceeded my own, and who I could enlist as my sidekicks (although I often felt as if it was me who was the sidekick). During one particular sidekick search, a burly, tattooed biker in the very back row volunteered himself as my surrogate superhero expert. The man had superhero tattoos as far as the eye could see, and probably some even further than that. I asked him the seemingly simple question, “How have you harnessed superheroes and their metaphors in your own clinical work?” I was flabbergasted to learn that he had never crossed that line. He had never used superheroes in his work with children or teens.

So, I leave you with a question, what’s in your pop culture wallet, and how might you integrate its content into your own therapeutic work?

Psychotherapy and Autism

Posted on by Psychotherapy.net Team

I just finished writing a book for psychotherapists on helping teenagers and young adults with autism. This topic does not get much coverage in the clinical literature on autism, as treatment books focus most often on children. This blog post will share some major points from the book. Autism is a neurobehavioral condition impacting social comprehension. It is often described as impacting “social skills,” but that is much too limiting. Autism impacts how an individual perceives the social world and interacts with that social world. Individuals with autism literally have a different way of perceiving social relationships, and they use skills they find appropriate given those perceptions. Autism makes up “who the person is” and not just “what the person does.” Having Autism makes up a major part of the answer to the all-encompassing question teenagers and young adults ask: “Who am I?” Therapists can help older clients take on this challenging question by helping them answer more specific questions like: “What does being a person with Autism mean?” “How do I want to live my life as a person with Autism”? “How important is it to have friends and what sort of friends do I want to have?” “How much am I capable of doing on my own?” “How much independence can I hope for?” “Where do I agree and disagree with my parents and teachers in terms of what they expect from me?” “How much do I care (and why do I care) about how people respond to my Autism symptoms?” Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), the primary treatment approach used for autism, emphasizes learning skills to replace behaviors that are causing problems. ABA still plays a major role in treatment for Autism for teenagers and young adults. Using the questions listed above is an effective way of determining what skills the teenager or young adult needs to learn. So, for example, once your client has worked with you on what sort of relationships he or she wants, you can use ABA approaches to help them learn skills needed for obtaining those types of relationships. But what you are making clear is that you are not taking a “one-size-fits-all” approach to what skills to learn. You are not telling your client “You need to have friends” or “You need to do more with other people.” You are helping your clients decide what they want, even if it is different from what their parents, teachers or healthcare providers think they should want. Addressing disagreements between what young clients and their parents want from therapy can be a real barrier to progress. Everyone wanting to have the final say in what gets addressed can be more challenging with this type of therapy than any others. You have parents who are used to guiding their child’s treatment, and then the child (now a teenager or young adult) who is tired of being told what they should want or what goals they should have. This is even more of an issue with autism because childhood autism treatment requires heavy parental involvement. Backing off on this involvement, so that their child can have more say over what gets addressed, can be difficult for parents. I remember one client, a teenage girl with autism just starting the 11th grade, whose main issue was disagreements with her parents. Her goal was to interact with her peers more at school, but she was not particularly interested in more social activities outside of school. But her parents wanted her to do much more socially. They had another daughter who they described as a “social butterfly” who was often at parties and out with her friends. When they saw that their other daughter (my client) did not have much interest in parties, they determined that something was “wrong” with her and that her autism symptoms, which she dealt with all her life and had been under control for years, were causing her problems that she did not see. My client had considerable disagreements with her parents about this issue and was really starting to resent them for it. She was comfortable with her limited social activities and did not want to do much socially outside of school (but did want to do more socially in school). Her parents disagreed and we had to address this issue before deciding what direction treatment would take. This sort of disagreement is not uncommon for families of a teenager or young adult with autism. Given how intense autism in childhood can be and how involved parents often are, they may come to expect their child will not fully understand what they need from treatment. Having family sessions, where everyone is given their say but the therapist makes clear that the young client must be listened to, can help parents recognize the validity of their child’s views. It can also give the therapist the opportunity to talk with the parents about how there are different perspectives on what makes social relationships meaningful and what to expect from friendships. When I had the chance to discuss these issues with my client’s parents over two family sessions, they were more receptive to considering what their child wanted socially. They were actually initially quite angry at me for “giving in” to their child and treating her too much like an adult. It was only after we discussed these issues in depth, and everyone had the opportunity to express their views without interruption or criticism, that the parents were receptive to allowing their daughter to set the goals for therapy. Therapy for autism in the teenage and young adult years is more individualized than therapy for autism during childhood. One example of how this works out is that “social scripts” are used as opposed to “social stories.” Social scripts are based on discussions during the therapy sessions specifically addressing what the person wants in terms of social relationships and what situations they find most difficult in reaching social goals. Social stories, on the other hand, emphasize more general rules that are used across a variety of social situations. Many types of therapy approaches used effectively for treating different conditions for teenagers and young adults can also help individuals with autism. Mindfulness, cognitive-behavior therapy and relaxation therapy all have been found effective for treating anxiety, depression and anger comorbid with Autism. T client can learn how to use these skills to reach the social goals they set for themselves. Perseveration and self-stimulatory behaviors are common problems in autism that need addressed. They typically get addressed as clients identify the negative responses they get from other people because of these behaviors. Using the “Red Card/Green Card” exercise is one effective approach for this problem. Essentially it involves helping the person practice suppressing their repetitive behaviors by allowing them periods of time to talk about whatever they want (including perseverative topics) without interrupting them when the “Green Card” is up, in exchange for focusing on specific topics the therapist brings up when the “Red Card” is up. I have also found reviewing material related to the “neurodiversity movement” to be invaluable for helping determine effective ways of helping teenagers and young adults with autism. This is not a therapy orientation per se, but is a philosophical movement emphasizing that autism, along with other neurobehavioral conditions, is best thought of as a “difference” and not a “disorder”. Reading material related to this movement can give you a different perspective on helping make therapy for someone with autism as beneficial and individualized as possible. Reference: Marston, D. (2019) Autism & Independence: Assessments & Treatments to Prepare Teenagers for Adult Life. PESI Publishing & Media: Wisconsin.