In this absorbing session, Aponte helps a family unravel the layers of resentment and self-protection that have been getting in the way of closeness with one another. The family originally comes into therapy seeking help for their eight year old daughter who is having trouble sleeping, and exhibiting symptoms such as night-terrors, sleep-walking, and unexplained crying at school and at home. Aponte shifts the focus from the little girl to the center of the family–Lori, the 25-year old mother of Melanie. He moves thoroughly through the family’s complicated situation, asking about each person, each relationship, and each person’s role. Aponte is a warm and gentle presence; his care and interest in this family is evident from the start.
Once he understands the family structure, Aponte identifies that Lori must shift her role into a kind of Chairman of the Board, bringing the three mothers (herself as Mom, Melanie’s grandma, and her great-grandma) and Lori’s husband, David, all to the table to work out adult agreements about how to raise Melanie and her sibling. Aponte points out to Lori that her own history of conflict, confusion and family alcoholism meant that she was raised in a great deal of chaos and uncertainty which results in a lot of pain for her now. He helps Lori to see that if she does not get more help and support, her daughter will walk a similar path. Together they identify Lori’s tendency to isolate, self-protect and feel resentful and angry about all the burdens she carries. By the end of the session Lori is expressing hope about living her life in a different way.
In a follow-up discussion with the referring social worker, Aponte is optimistic about the family’s chances to improve their situation, and outlines some challenges he sees for the therapist in working with the family further.
