arl and Sandra’s relationship begins to show important signs of progress. In their fourth session, the couple is slow to admit the primary emotions that underlie their complaints. By empathically validating the pain and confusion Sandra and Carl feel while reframing their experiences as part of their cycle, Jorgensen creates a space that enables Carl to come out of his withdrawn, defensive stance and admit that he does not express his care for Sandra. Carl’s emergence marks a turning point for the couple, and Jorgensen plants the seed for softening Sandra’s pursuer role by reflecting, “you don’t quite know how to run to Carl’s arms when you’re distressed.”
Over the next two sessions, the couple begins to assimilate the cycle as the root of their problem, and with Jorgensen’s guidance, they soften considerably toward one another. Sandra reflects that she is now able to look at Carl in session, though she still has difficulty revealing why that has been so painful. The moments of connection between Sandra and Carl increase, as they both acknowledge that they do not want to be without the other. In a heartening sign of the headway they have made, Sandra expresses her excitement about the adventure of creating a new relationship with Carl, even as the prospect is very frightening for her.
This video is part of the three video series, Emotionally Focused Therapy: A Complete Treatment. Other self-study videos in this series include:
- EFT Part 1 (Sessions 1 – 3)
- EFT Part 2 (Sessions 4 – 6)
- EFT Part 3 (Sessions 7 – 10)
