A therapist explores the complex feelings that arise when a client terminates abruptly.
Nancy McWilliams on Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis
The prolific psychoanalyst and psychologist discusses contemporary psychoanalytic practice, the state of the academy, and the importance for therapists to contribute to the greater community.
What if Its All Been a Big Fat Psychotherapeutic Lie?
In the early 90s I developed a classroom exercise to teach my students an important academic lesson. This is one of those experiential exercises where the professor feels holier- than- thou because he or sheknows the outcome in advance.
First, I placed the students in groups of twos and asked one of the students to play the part of the helper while the other played the part of the client who tells a real or fictitious problem.Next I pulled…
Bids for Emotional Connection in Couples Therapy
John Gottman’s concept, “bids for emotional connection,” is practically a complete theory of relationships in itself. Hearing the word “bids,” we picture partners reaching out to each other in a variety of ways. Gary Chapman, in his book, The Five Love Languages, lists five such ways: words of affirmation (“That situation was delicate and you really handled it beautifully”), touch (“How about a hug?”), quality time (“Let’s get a babysitter and make a reservation at Chez Alouette”), gifts (“This scarf…
Methinks Jay Haley Hit the Bulls Eye
My client began her session with an interesting saga. In an attempt to improve her health she began each day by ingesting a nutritional drink that was loaded with nearly 100 superfoods. Since I personally take enough vitamin and mineral supplements a day to capsize a small battleship, I was all ears. Unfortunately, my client lamented that the supplement seemed counter-productive. That is to say, instead of having unlimited energy, she was nearly falling asleep at the wheel on the…
How Therapists Fail: Why Too Many Clients Drop Out of Therapy Prematurely
If we could learn from all of our less-than-optimal therapy outcomes, we'd really acquire some true clinical wisdom. Here are some practical tips to increase your odds of success.
Duped and Recouped
Empathy and compassion generally serve us well with our clients, but aren't necessarily the skills we need to navigate the world of running a practice. This story, excerpted from Duped: Lies and Deception in Psychotherapy serves as a cautionary tale.
Mark Epstein on Mindfulness and Psychotherapy
Psychiatrist and author Epstein discusses his introduction to mindfulness meditation, dealing with desire, disappointment, and more.
Working with the Unemotional in Emotionally Focused Therapy
It is pretty clear from the research that focuses on how change happens in therapy that emotional engagement is essential for significant change to occur. This is true in individual therapy (for example, research by Castonguay and by Beutler) and it is certainly true in couple therapy (research by EFT therapists like myself). So what happens in an intervention like Emotionally Focused Couple therapy when one person emphatically denies or avoids emotion? The Boy Code insists that men are at…
Why a Therapist Should Care About a Clients Favorite Brand of Shampoo
When I was a youngster my father owned a company that manufactured shampoos and hair conditioners. His bestseller was the original Rum & Egg Shampoo, a product he invented himself. Now here’s where the story gets a little humorous (or perhaps not so humorous depending on your vantage point). We would routinely receive correspondence from folks who just loved the Rum & Egg . . . heck, they thought it was the best darn shampoo on the face of the…