Encounter with Resistance

• Resistance
• In Session

This excerpt is taken from Existential-Humanistic Therapy (3rd ed.) by Kirk J. Schneider & Orah T. Krug, 2026 (ISBN: 978-1-4338-4474-4) and printed here with permission of the American Psychological Association.

Resistance

When the invitation to explore, immerse, and interrelate is abruptly or repeatedly declined by clients, then the perplexing problem of resistance—or, as we are increasingly framing it, “protections”—must be considered

Resistance is the blockage to that which is palpably (immediately, affectively, kinesthetically) relevant within the client and between client and therapist. Existential-Humanistic (EH) practitioners assume that resistance, or protections, are concrete manifestations of clients’ inabilities to fully face and accept some life experiences—especially those that are particularly painful and devastating. EH practitioners consequently appreciate resistance behaviors because they illuminate the ways in which a client views their sense of self and the world. The following vignette from my (Orah Krug’s) work with Diana provides an illustration. Our session began with Diana describing, with evident pride and satisfaction, how she had accepted a challenging task from her supervisor and had successfully completed it.  

In Session

OTK: You seem very pleased with your accomplishment.

Diana: (exclaiming strongly) Following through on a commitment is very important to me.

OTK: There’s a lot of energy there. Your statement seems to have a great deal of meaning for you. Can you go inside and explore its meaning a little more? Just let your mind relax and say whatever is there. (I intentionally slowed the process down here because Diana’s energy identified aliveness. I try to encourage more of that with a person who typically tamps it down, as was Diana’s tendency. I sensed that a part of Diana was attempting to emerge, and so I invited her to make “space” for it.)

Diana: It’s about being responsible, showing up in life, growing as a person. (Suddenly she stopped and laughed.) I don’t know where I’m going.

OTK: You’re doing just fine. (I immediately realized my mistake. My comment was an attempt to rescue her from her discomfort instead of allowing her to explore and understand what had just happened. I backtracked and tried to have her get curious about her process.)

OTK: Did you notice that your comment about not knowing where you’re going seemed to stop you dead in your tracks? Go inside and see if you can discover what’s happening there.

Diana: (smiling) I thought I was saying something stupid, blah, blah, blah, and I thought you thought so, too.   

OTK: You know in that moment of stopping yourself, you stopped showing up for yourself. The irony is that before you stopped yourself, you were showing up for yourself. Perhaps showing up for yourself triggers some fear?

Diana: (quiet for a moment, and then with tears in her eyes) Yes, a fear of being out there and not knowing what’s coming—I squish myself.

OTK: So, when some feeling is emerging inside, you get afraid? Can you go slow and explore what scares you in the emerging?

Diana: I feel exposed, I feel vulnerable.

OTK: Can you imagine another feeling you could have instead of fear?

Diana: I could be curious—that’s how I was last week, when I went out with a group of friends from work. I realized I was attracted to one of the men in the group and felt that curiosity. I thought, there are a lot of men out there that I could feel this way with, instead of going to that fear place of there’s only one man and I must attach to him.

OTK: How is it to share this with me?  

Diana: I feel a little shy, but okay. I didn’t realize how and why I stop myself, and it feels good to have us both knowing what goes on with me.

This crucial therapeutic moment could have been lost if I hadn’t recognized that reassuring Diana in her moment of discomfort was not facilitative. Diana needed support to explore her repetitive pattern of stopping herself when feeling “out there and stupid.” A more therapeutic response prepared the soil for her to embody her silent, constricted way of being constructed long ago to avoid feelings of vulnerability and exposure. Diana’s painful shame-based feelings were so palpable that I reactively tried to protect her from them. This experience emphasizes how quickly subconscious reactivity can take the place of conscious presence. 

@2025, American Psychological Association