Grieving is a developmental process including the development of our client’s “self-narrative.” To a point, there is a relationship between the degree of suffering one has encountered and the amount of growth that they may experience, beyond which they may shut down and/or retreat. In that mid-range of suffering, clients may be at a point where they can consider the importance of what and who has value for them and how to respond to life choices moving forward. Such is the case with the clients featured in this video as they work with Neimeyer.
This video opens with a short excerpt featuring grief therapist Carolyn Ng, who we saw earlier on, as she works with Lisa, whose only child Ray Ray was murdered, seemingly randomly, in a convenience store. As Lisa describes the horror of her son’s death and how it has derailed her life, Ng shines light on a moment, an opportunity, to note how Lisa has also taken the opportunity to present herself differently to people in her life — from a lifelong presentation of guardedness to one of greater authenticity. Together, they grow Lisa’s story from one of profound loss to one of personal and interpersonal growth and possibility.
Carolyn is stuck in both the event story and unfinished business surrounding the loss of her father to COVID during the pandemic, under circumstances where she could not be with him. She carries forward traumatizing memories of his death. Even more so, however, her unfinished business with him centers around not only guilt, but also the identification she had with him around music, and how this resulted in her life being colonized by her academic career in the musical field. Through his attunement to her implicit questioning about her identity and markers for self-change, Neimeyer helps Carolyn to untangle the unhealthy attachment to her father, enlist him as an ally, and finally share her desire and plan for an expanded life with broader meaning beyond music.
Erica is reeling in the aftermath of her military husband’s suicide death while on deployment in Afghanistan. All the more traumatizing was that her husband conveyed his intentions, albeit somewhat cryptically, through a text message. Initially, she and Neimeyer did some redemptive restorative storytelling by weaving together the three strands of the story — the external narrative, the internal narrative, and the reflexive narrative. However, she was left feeling confused about who they were as a couple, so with Neimeyer’s help, she begins to question who she is now that her husband is gone, considers shedding parts of herself that were not fulfilling prior to her husband’s death, and rebuilding her self-story and her life. As she begins to unravel this “beautiful problem,” as Neimeyer describes it, Erica’s posttraumatic growth includes continued treatment, returning to school, becoming a counselor, and reflecting on what she wants in a relationship.
So, join Robert Neimeyer as you move beyond simplistic theories, rigid protocols, and narrow definitions, to expand your knowledge and skills base and begin guiding your own clients through and out of the labyrinth of loss and grieving.
Length of video: 2:07:54
English subtitles available
Group ISBN-10 #: 1-60124-610-2
Group ISBN-13 #: 978-1-60124-610-3
Robert A. Neimeyer, PhD, is Professor Emeritus of the Department of Psychology, University of Memphis, and maintains an active consulting and coaching practice. He also directs the
Portland Institute for Loss and Transition which provides online and onsite training internationally in grief therapy. Since completing his doctoral training at the University of Nebraska in 1982, he has conducted extensive research on the topics of death, grief, loss, and suicide intervention. He has received numerous awards for his scholarly and clinical contributions. Most recently, he has been granted Lifetime Achievement Awards from both the Association for Death Education and Counseling and the International Network for Personal Meaning.
Neimeyer has published 35 books, including
New Techniques of Grief Therapy: Bereavement and Beyond and
The Handbook of Grief Therapies, the latter with Edith Steffen and Jane Milman. The author of over 600 articles and book chapters, he is currently working to advance a more adequate theory of grieving as a meaning-making process, both in his published work and through his frequent professional workshops for national and international audiences. Please visit the Portland Institute for Loss and Transition website to learn more about
live online training,
pre-recorded online training and
on-site training opportunities.
Robert A. Neimeyer was compensated for his/her/their contribution. None of his/her/their books or additional offerings are required for any of the Psychotherapy.net content. Should such materials be references, it is as an additional resource.
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Additionally, there is no commercial support for this activity. None of the planners or any employee at Psychotherapy.net who has worked on this educational activity has relevant financial
relationship(s) to disclose with ineligible companies.
Carolyn Ng, PsyD, FT, MMSAC, RegCLR, maintains a private practice,
Anchorage for Loss and Transition, for training, supervision and therapy in Singapore, while also serving as an Associate Director of the Portland Institute. Previously she served as Principal Counselor with the Children’s Cancer Foundation in Singapore, specializing in cancer-related palliative care and bereavement counselling. She is a master clinical member and approved supervisor with the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC) and a Fellow in Thanatology with the Association of Death Education and Counselling (ADEC), USA, as well as a consultant to a cancer support and bereavement ministry in Sydney, Australia. She is certified in Solution-Focused Brief Therapy and Narrative Therapy and holds an MA in Pastoral Ministry from Trinity Theological Seminary in the USA. She is also a trained end-of-life doula and advanced care planning facilitator.
Carolyn Ng was compensated for his/her/their contribution. None of his/her/their books or additional offerings are required for any of the Psychotherapy.net content. Should such materials be references, it is as an additional resource.
Psychotherapy.net defines ineligible companies as those whose primary business is producing, marketing, selling, re-selling, or distributing healthcare products used by or on patients. There is no minimum
financial threshold; individuals must disclose all financial relationships, regardless of the amount, with ineligible companies. We ask that all contributors disclose any and all financial relationships
they have with any ineligible companies whether the individual views them as relevant to the education or not.
Additionally, there is no commercial support for this activity. None of the planners or any employee at Psychotherapy.net who has worked on this educational activity has relevant financial
relationship(s) to disclose with ineligible companies.
CE credits: 2
Learning Objectives:
- describe Neimeyer’s third area of fixation, the self, and its clinical significance in grief therapy
- develop case-conceptualizations that integrate the client’s search for an expanded self-narrative
- build treatment plans that incorporate Neimeyer’s creative/expressive techniques for identity reconstruction
Bibliography available upon request
This course is offered for ASWB ACE credit for social workers. See complete list of CE approvals here
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