By Dan Wile, PhD
on 3/13/11 - 3:03 PM
It is a typical night at Tom and Betsy's house. Tom has his nose in a newspaper. Betsy is leaning in the door of his study trying to talk to him, getting more and more frustrated at his periodic, vague “Uh huh.” After a few minutes of trying to entice him into a conversation, Betsy starts complaining, and then criticizing him for being cold. Tom snaps, “Can't you just once leave me alone?” Betsy yells, he withdraws further, and Betsy...
By Dan Wile, PhD
on 10/7/10 - 5:50 PM
When I do couple therapy, I bring partners in on my concerns about what is happening in the session. If I am concerned that one partner might feel I’m siding against him or her, I might say, “Ben, I’ve just realized I spent more time today developing Lisa’s position today than I have yours. Is that your sense, too? And if so, do you feel left out or sided against or ganged up on?” The person (here Ben) often responds...
