The war in Ukraine has persisted for more than three and a half years. In that time, I have supported many Ukrainians navigating the psychological effects of displacement, both internal and external. Much of what is publicly visible focuses on logistics: relocation, safety, and survival. But behind these surface realities lie long-term emotional wounds—complicated grief, loss of identity, and fractured belonging—that are less discussed but deeply consequential
As a psychotherapist with extensive experience supporting clients affected by war through Soul Space, I have seen firsthand how displacement reshapes people from the inside out. The process is never linear. This article shares what I’ve observed, heard, and worked through with clients, offering insights into emigration as a deeply human psychological journey.
This loss of social function creates emotional detachment and disorientation. People speak of feeling like they are “watching someone else live their life.” This state often resembles a suspended existence, not due to passivity, but because the ground under their feet has shifted too fast to keep pace.
What’s more, it’s not just individual identity that suffers. Whole communities lose their frameworks. The culture, rituals, and structures that support meaning and selfhood are interrupted. Even internal displacement within Ukraine has a similar psychological impact. The place may differ, but the rupture is felt all the same.
Many of my clients meet criteria for what is clinically called complicated grief: the kind that stays unresolved, not because people are unwilling to heal, but because they never had the chance to mourn properly in the first place.
As therapist and scholar Thomas Attig has emphasized, people grieve differently. In my work, I’ve seen how displaced clients carry layered grief for:
Clients may appear well-adjusted. They hold jobs, attend language courses, and care for their families. But inside, many describe emptiness or persistent numbness. Therapy offers space to pause and feel what has been hidden under duty and resilience.
Children and Parents Swapping Roles
Teenagers translating legal documents for their parents, children mediating with landlords—this kind of role shift is emotionally confusing and exhausting. Therapy helps clarify expectations, validate struggles, and restore balance.
The Strain of Chronic Uncertainty
People live in limbo, waiting for visa extensions, worrying about family, or feeling unable to settle or return. This uncertainty is not just logistical but deeply psychological. It erodes agency.
Disrupted Belonging
Even in communities that are welcoming, many clients say they feel “othered.” And often, they feel disconnected from who they were before the war. Helping them reconnect with lost parts of the self becomes a critical focus in therapy.
Host Communities Also Struggle
It’s important to acknowledge that migration affects those receiving displaced people as well. Many local residents have never been exposed to war trauma or large-scale migration.
They may experience:
We began with structure. We worked together to restore family rituals like shared meals and bedtime routines. The parents practiced grounding exercises such as short breathing pauses and body scans between sessions.
We gave space to grief. Each family member created a “memory journal,” not just for losses but for moments they still carried with them––songs, smells, images. Over time, the children began to sleep better, the father became more involved, and the mother’s panic attacks reduced significantly.
File under: The Art of Psychotherapy, A Day in the Life of a Therapist
Like what you are reading? For more stimulating stories, thought-provoking articles and new video announcements, sign up for our monthly newsletter.
As a psychotherapist with extensive experience supporting clients affected by war through Soul Space, I have seen firsthand how displacement reshapes people from the inside out. The process is never linear. This article shares what I’ve observed, heard, and worked through with clients, offering insights into emigration as a deeply human psychological journey.
Displacement and Identity: A Shifting Foundation
When the war began, many clients were uprooted from their stable lives. In sessions, I hear stories of teachers who no longer teach, parents unsure how to guide their children in a new culture, and professionals who feel invisible. Their roles disappeared almost overnight.This loss of social function creates emotional detachment and disorientation. People speak of feeling like they are “watching someone else live their life.” This state often resembles a suspended existence, not due to passivity, but because the ground under their feet has shifted too fast to keep pace.
What’s more, it’s not just individual identity that suffers. Whole communities lose their frameworks. The culture, rituals, and structures that support meaning and selfhood are interrupted. Even internal displacement within Ukraine has a similar psychological impact. The place may differ, but the rupture is felt all the same.
Grief That Doesn’t End—Complication, Confusion, and Collective Loss
Clients grieving in displacement are not grieving in the usual sense. There are no funerals for lost routines or roles, and no formal goodbyes to old homes. Instead, grief emerges in the form of disorientation, guilt, exhaustion, and self-doubt.Many of my clients meet criteria for what is clinically called complicated grief: the kind that stays unresolved, not because people are unwilling to heal, but because they never had the chance to mourn properly in the first place.
As therapist and scholar Thomas Attig has emphasized, people grieve differently. In my work, I’ve seen how displaced clients carry layered grief for:
- their homes and what they represented.
- their community and place in it.
- the future they had imagined.
Therapy Themes—What I See in the Room
Functioning Outside, Fractured InsideClients may appear well-adjusted. They hold jobs, attend language courses, and care for their families. But inside, many describe emptiness or persistent numbness. Therapy offers space to pause and feel what has been hidden under duty and resilience.
Children and Parents Swapping Roles
Teenagers translating legal documents for their parents, children mediating with landlords—this kind of role shift is emotionally confusing and exhausting. Therapy helps clarify expectations, validate struggles, and restore balance.
The Strain of Chronic Uncertainty
People live in limbo, waiting for visa extensions, worrying about family, or feeling unable to settle or return. This uncertainty is not just logistical but deeply psychological. It erodes agency.
Disrupted Belonging
Even in communities that are welcoming, many clients say they feel “othered.” And often, they feel disconnected from who they were before the war. Helping them reconnect with lost parts of the self becomes a critical focus in therapy.
Host Communities Also Struggle
It’s important to acknowledge that migration affects those receiving displaced people as well. Many local residents have never been exposed to war trauma or large-scale migration.
They may experience:
- fatigue from trying to help and not knowing how.
- fear of change in cultural identity.
- guilt over their own comfort in comparison.
One Family’s Story
I worked with a Ukrainian family of four who relocated to Western Europe. The parents were in their late 30s. The mother experienced frequent panic attacks. The father became silent and irritable. Their daughter became withdrawn at school. Their son, only 6, began wetting the bed and refused to sleep alone.We began with structure. We worked together to restore family rituals like shared meals and bedtime routines. The parents practiced grounding exercises such as short breathing pauses and body scans between sessions.
We gave space to grief. Each family member created a “memory journal,” not just for losses but for moments they still carried with them––songs, smells, images. Over time, the children began to sleep better, the father became more involved, and the mother’s panic attacks reduced significantly.
How to Truly Support
Many people want to help but don’t know how. Here’s what displaced people have told me helps:- show up consistently. Small gestures matter.
- ask how someone is - but be ready to listen to the real answer.
- don’t minimize loss. Being safe doesn’t erase grief.
- stay open to discomfort. Growth happens in dialogue, not in perfection.
File under: The Art of Psychotherapy, A Day in the Life of a Therapist