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Rules for a Good Relationship

Posted by Dan Wile, PhD on 1/16/11 - 7:43 PM
1. Never go to bed angry.
Stay up all night yelling and screaming. After the way your partner behaved, he doesn’t deserve to sleep.
 
2. Don’t jump in to help when your partner is telling a joke
--unless, of course, you can tell it much better.
 
3. When fighting, take a time out.
That will give you a chance to come up with more devastating putdowns.
 
4. Don’t interrupt your partner.
You need to have all the facts in order to show her how totally wrong she is.
 
5. Don’t mind read.
Your partner might be thinking awful things about you that you don’t want to know.
 
6. Don’t dump out all your stored-up complaints.
Keep a few in reserve so you won’t be caught with nothing left while your partner still has four or five.
 
7. Restate your partner’s message.
Let him see how truly irrational it is.
 
8. Make “I” statements, not “you” statements
--except when nothing but a good “you” statement will do.

9. Don't say "always" or "never"
--except when you need it for added emphasis when your partner won't admit how totally wrong he is.
 
10. Don’t raise your voice.
You can have so much more effect by speaking softly between clenched teeth.
 
11. Don't  try to change your partner
--except, of course, for the few things that really do need changing. In fact, make a list.

Comments

The new Paradox of Change

Submitted by Giandomenico de Vita on 3/27/11 - 4:59 PM
Dear, do you realize how a wonderful man you could be, if you just were……… different!

The new Paradox of Change

Submitted by Giandomenico de Vita on 3/27/11 - 4:59 PM
Dear, do you realize how a wonderful man you could you be, if you just were……… different!
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